Today (October 14) is Bald and Free Day and although I am not quite there yet, I am fast approaching the requirements necessary for being a card-carrying (or should that be rug-wearing?) member of The Hair Club for Men (look out, Cy Sperling ... I'm not only a member, I want to be the president).
Most men have a fear of going bald.
Not me.
Just think of all the money I'd save over the course of a lifetime on haircuts, hair spray, hair gel, mousse, pomade, shampoo, conditioner, brushes, and combs.
Plus... no bad hair days.
Of course there are all those "jabs" and "jokes."
Like...
What do you call forty rabbits walking backward? A receding hareline.
and...
You're so bald... when you wear a turtleneck you look like a roll-on deodorant.
and...
God was good to you. He gave you a handsome face... and room for another one.
and...
Doctor, doctor, can you give me something for my baldness? Sure. Rub pig manure all over your scalp every morning when you first get out of bed. Will that cure my hair loss? No, but no one will get close enough to notice you're bald.
Just a word of warning to those who persecute the "follicly challenged"...
Watch your back.
"From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. 'Go on up, you baldhead!' they said. 'Go on up, you baldhead!'
He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths."
- II Kings 2:23-24
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