Ivan Workin' On the Railroad

Tonight our YYs (Youth of Yesterday) will be going to West Jackson Baptist Church for a nice meal and to hear Ivan Parker in concert. This is sponsored by my alma mater, Union University.

BTW, there has been a debate for some time on whether I graduated from Union or Lambuth. The staff at Union claimed I went to Lambuth and the people at Lambuth claimed I went to Union. I think that is so silly and should be settled like the female athletes do .. with "smack" talk and baseball bats.

Yet I digress.

Tonight's event is called a Senior Adult Extravaganza. I tend to use the term "extravaganza" sparingly. However, I guess when you get to be a certain age, eating out and watching someone else sing is "as good as it gets".

About seven years ago I was asked by our own Gibson Baptist Association to speak at (I am NOT lying about this) a "Senior Adult Bean Supper and Comedy Night". What committee could have possibly thought this was a good idea?

Hey, I've got it! Let's take 300 senior adults who have a difficult time controlling bodily functions anyway, tank them up on beans, put them in a tight space and try to make 'em laugh for thirty minutes.

I did end up speaking. They didn't make it an annual event.

Wednesday's Child Is Full of Woe

In the old children's nursery rhyme, Wednesday was not the very best day (that explains my summer rehearsal numbers) to be born. Monday's child was a "pretty boy" (fair of face), Tuesday's child was full of grace (I'm evidently full of something else according to writings in the bathroom stall outside the choir room) and then we have .. Wednesday.

It's interesting to me that the original verse, which appeared in Harper's Weekly in 1887 (I'm thinking about renaming this "The Learning Blog"), said that Wednesday's child is loving and giving.

I suppose this covers all the bases.

Of course this "fortune-telling" rhyme doesn't set your fate. You can choose to be whatever you want to be: from "loving and giving" (not so much) to "full of woe" (I'm leaning more in this direction).

For what it's worth (I know, not much), I was actually born on Wednesday, May 29, 1957 (yes, I'm a '57 model - a classic).

I prefer "Whoa", dude.

This Remote Looks Like a Cockpit!

Well, Godot (or Roy, as he preferred to be called) arrived (see yesterday's post) about 9:30 AM and we are now receiving satellite transmissions from the skies above. It is wonderful, except for one thing.

One of selling points of DirecTV and the main reason that you should drop cable (according to their ads) is the number of choices that you have. Over 235 channels, I believe.

I never liked having to choose. Mom knew this and tried to make life easier for all of us growing up. Eat what is on your plate or .. go hungry. There WAS a choice (eenie, meenie, minie, moe) involved, but the correct answer seemed so obvious.

I suppose having more choices is a good thing. However, I still freeze up when I open a menu at Red Robin (come on, there are over 50 gourmet burgers!) or when I GET to chose ONLY four from the long list of "break out" sessions at a Maximum Man (real men can make up their minds) conference.

Those of you who are already used to satellite TV are thinking that today's post is just plain stupid (unlike my highly cerebral other writings). Remember, I am over 50 (hmm, just like the number of gourmet burgers at Red Robin .. fascinating) and I'm starting to get into that senior adult mindset of not liking change.

I'm trying. Don't rush me.

Gotta go. I have to get ready for work .. right after I go through the channel guide (it's been about 15 minutes and I'm only a fourth of the way through) to see what I will be missing.

So many choices, so little time.

Waiting for Godot

I have never been very good at waiting for anything. I'm a guy (mystery solved) who stands in front of the microwave shouting, "Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!." I like for things to move along at a brisk pace.

This morning I will be doing some of my work (email, writing a newsletter article .. Oprah) from the house as I await the arrival of the DirecTV installer. He will be here sometime between 8 and noon (please, please, please).

I know I could go on to the office and have him call just before he arrives, but I want to be sure that I don't miss him. Been there. Done that.

On more than one occasion I've waited, and waited, and waited and (get the picture?) for UPS or FedEx to show up with no such luck. The very instant I go to the bathroom or out back to turn on the sprinkler, I have returned to see a "Sorry We Missed You" note on the front door. I hate it when that happens.

Not today. I have food, water, my laptop, a catheter ... this guy is ready for the long haul.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice ..

It has not escaped my attention that in the Samuel Beckett play, Godot never arrives. If Vladimir and Estragon had owned a MasterCard, Visa or DiscoverCard, that might not have been the case.

Better Late Than Never

My Sunday posts (as opposed to the Saturday Evening ones) are usually later than the other days of the week. I try to have something written in the morning hours Monday - Saturdays. On Sundays, I wait until I get home from our morning services .. usually. Today it is different. It is now night time and I am just getting around to penning something for your reading pleasure (or displeasure, in some cases).

My day began at 5:30 AM. I got ready as soon as I could and made my way to the church (about 6:30) to unlock the gazillion doors around the perimeter of our building and to turn on lights. I climbed the stairs to the sound booth to input the songs for the morning service into EasyWorship and found that the computer did not boot up properly (I hate Windoz). After giving it another try, the Dell (Michael Dell eats worms!) finally decided to cooperate.

The National Guardsmen (or Guardspersons, if you prefer) from our area were being deployed today and they left the armory at 7:30 AM. Several of us lined up on Main Street to show our support and to wave goodbye as they left to serve our country.

I then got in the car and headed back to the church to make final preparations for the nine o'clock rehearsal with the instrumentalists (Katie and Ben, today) and tech crew.

The service began at 10:30 with two baptisms, a variety of hymns and choruses (brilliantly selected and executed, if I do say so myself) and the first of a series of messages from 1 Thessalonians by Bro. Greg.

After church, Cheryl and I went to Jackson to eat lunch (she usually prepares a full meal made from scratch .. but not today) and have 191 photos (digital is a blessing AND a curse) developed. The pictures were not going to be ready until 2:45 PM and I hate waiting, but gasoline is expensive and there was no need of making another trip in to Jackson. So, we went to Target and Kohl's to kill a little time.

After picking up the photos (there were some good ones), we headed back to Humboldt where I was able to take a brief (but necessary) nap on the couch (I'm starting to feel at home there) for about 30 minutes or so.

The alarm sounded (I curse you, Westclox) and it was time to go back to the church, unlock again and pick up the bulletins (were you people raised in a barn???) from the pews and floor. This was followed by a meeting at 5:30 PM with those interested in ringing handbells and the six o'clock service featuring a mission share time from our Romania team (very good, btw).

The people stood around and talked endlessly afterwards (I'm so glad I'm a part of the fam'ly of God .. but enough is enough) until someone turned the lights out (who could have done that?), ran them out of the building, locked the last four doors and made their way home.

Sunday: It is a day of rest.

Memories, Light the Corners of My Mind

Last Thursday at the "Meet the Staff" night, the table where I was sitting got into a discussion about music. I brought up LP albums (I had to explain what those were .. young punks) and concerts (not the christian ones like I exclusively attend today) that were such a vital part of my teenage years.

When I was a kid, I had every album that Chicago made. I was in the high school band and these guys were my heroes. They made playing an instrument not so .. geeky (okay I played the clarinet and there was nothing that anyone could do to help me).

It may not be the fourth of July and I'm not in the park (it's too stinkin' hot), but it IS Saturday, so here is a blast from the past.

I used to have hair like that, you know.

Don't Shut Me Out

Yesterday afternoon, I received a call on my cell phone (it's the iPhone 3G 8 gig model in black for those who might have forgotten) from a number that I didn't recognize. Imagine my surprise when I heard my wife's voice from a number that was not hers. She would have used her own cell phone, but it was locked in the car .. along with her keys.

You see, she had stopped to pump gas (she can also change her own oil and rebuild a transmission - that's my Proverbs 31 woman .. except for the "rises early" part) and locked her car with the keys inside. Under "normal" circumstances this would have just been a minor annoyance, but the price of gas had dropped 12 cents and it seemed like everyone in town who had a vehicle was lined up for this "once in a lifetime" deal.

I could tell by her voice (she frightens me sometimes) she was frustrated. Fortunately, I was able to drop what I was doing (not checking out who was on Facebook - it was during office hours) and head over to rescue (here I come to save the day!) my damsel in distress.

When I arrived at Wal-mart, it was so crowded around the gas pumps that I had to wait for another minute or so just to get to Cheryl.

There she was .. standing there waving off angry drivers. You could she the hate and disdain in their eyes as they pulled in behind her only to be forced to back up and drive to another pump. It was horrible!

I knew what I had to do: Park my car to the side, run up with the spare key, act like I was a locksmith, unlock the door and run away. If the crowd even suspected that I knew her, it could have gotten ugly. So, that's what I did.

You know the couch in the living room is not all that bad.