Sweatin' with the Oldies .. Again

The internet has been down all morning. For you early readers .. sorry.

Did you hear about the hen who wanted to impress all the barnyard animals by laying an egg in a place where it had never been done before? After much deliberation, she decided to do so on a nearby busy highway. When she told the old rooster her plans, he offered two pieces of advice. 1) Do it quickly and 2) Lay it on the line.

Today is a very busy day so I am taking the rooster's advice with this post.

Tonight at 6 o'clock the SonShiners (FBC's choir for 'seasoned singers') will be singing at Humboldt's 2009 Relay for Life at Viking Park.

I am excited about the opportunity to "do ministry" outside the walls of the church. However, I was hoping for somewhere cooler (not cool as in neat or awesome .. cool as in .. not so stinkin' hot!!) to do so.

Actually, we have sung at three nursing homes during the past several months and it had to be at least 95° degrees at each location (why do the elderly always like the room to be toasty even in the summer?). Maybe tonight's temperatures won't be too unbearable.

Oh well. When you're hot you're hot.

".. and he sat in the tent door in the heat of the day."

- Genesis 18:1b

I'm Melting .. I'm Melting

The temperatures have been relatively mild in West Tennessee so far this summer .. until now.

Yesterday it was 95° degrees outside (it was at least ninety inside at a funeral held at FBC) and over the next three days temperatures are supposed to be 96°, 97° and 94° respectively.

For a guy who entered the ministry with a vow to never break a sweat (up to this point I was doing pretty well), these are difficult days.

Some people live for summer to get here. They freeze when it approaches 50° degrees (Granny called it having 'thin blood') and when it gets down below forty they start "layering up," putting on gloves and wearing a sock cap (a bizarre combination of clothing articles .. what's next .. underwear shoes??).

I, on the other hand, love cold weather. If I lived somewhere like Minnesota or the Antarctic this might not be the case. However, since I don't live in an area were your appendages could possibly fall off due to exposure to the elements .. cold trumps hot every time.

If I didn't have to wear a coat and tie on occasion .. and pants, obviously (I'll never make that mistake again), it might not be so bad. I see people around town in shorts, a tank top and flip-flops all the time and they look so comfortable (often gross .. but still .. comfortable).

Because of my position (I enjoy sitting the most), I am expected to have a certain appearance when seen out in public. As a minister, I represent my church even on my "off days" and I wouldn't want to do anything to bring embarrassment or shame to the good people of First Baptist.

Of course, my blog does that on a daily basis.

So .. since I'm already a poor reflection of our church, if the temperature goes any higher don't be surprised if you see me at Wal-mart in nothing but swimming trunks.

Just look away (you will be forced to .. my chest is so white you'll need sunglasses) and act like you don't know me.

Cheryl does it all the time.

"And not as Moses, which put a vail over his face, that the children of Israel could not stedfastly look .."

- II Corinthians 3:13b

Kev's Klip of the Week

"A man's stomach shall be satisfied from the fruit of his mouth; From the produce of his lips he shall be filled."

- Proverbs 18:20

Don't Know Why There's No Sun Up in the Sky

The last couple of days there has been quite a bit of wind (I'm not referring to myself .. although it appears the 'Homewrecker' from Moe's was appropriately named), rain and just plain old .. bad weather. In fact, we spent about an hour in the church basement yesterday afternoon as the tornado sirens sounded off in the distance.

According to the weather people (and we all know how accurate they always are) there are more storms on the horizon for today and tomorrow.

They say that confession is good for the soul (keeping your big mouth shut causes less of a hassle, however), so I want to take this opportunity to apologize for the current weather conditions.

When Cheryl left town, she asked me to do one .. and only one .. task for her. That was to water her flowers .. water her gazillion flowers.

I am not a very patient guy.

Often, I stand in front of the microwave saying, "Let's go. Let's go. Let's go!"

If I approach a traffic light and it turns red, I immediately move to the lane with the arrow or take an alternate route that will not require me to apply the brakes.

When I go to the doctor I am not a very patient .. patient.

So, the thought of standing outside every day for an hour .. in 95% humidity .. with a water hose holds no appeal to me whatsoever.

I started several weeks ago praying that it would rain while Cheryl was gone. I know now this was selfish on my part and I am sorry if this has caused an inconvenience for farmers who needed to be in the field or parents who needed their children to go swimming and release some of that energy.

Next time, I will be more specific and pray for rain .. just inside my property line.

"The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." - James 5:16

There Goes My Everything

Cheryl and Cyndi (her shipmate/cruise buddy) pulled out of our driveway at 4:32 a.m. yesterday morning, plenty early to catch a 727 at 7:27 from Memphis International Airport .. or so they thought.

There was a storm a brewin' (Auntie Em, Auntie Em!!) in Arkansas that hit around the time they should have been boarding their plane. Consequently, that flight was cancelled and they had to take a later one to Miami.

Since it takes an hour and a half to get to Miami from Memphis, this was going to put Cheryl's dream trip in jeopardy (Alex, I'll take Angry Woman for $300).

Fortunately, they were able to do an "OJ" (the Hertz commercial where he's running to catch a plane NOT the other thing .. though I could see that happening if Cheryl had missed out on this cruise .. she has some pent-up anger issues .. BTW, I saw OJ Simpson and Jerry Lee Lewis playing golf at a charity event in Memphis recently and I yelled out from the crowd, 'Hey Killer!' .. They both waved) through the airport and they boarded the ship with only five minutes to spare!

Cheryl looks forward to this week away .. from me .. the entire year. It is the one thing that helps keep her going from summer to summer and I am so glad she didn't "miss the boat."

Because if mama ain't happy ...

".. there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth." - Matthew 25:30b

Back Tomorrow

As usual, no Sunday post. And in case you are wondering .. no that's not me.

"And I will take away mine hand, and thou shalt see my back: but my face shall not be seen." - Exodus 33:23 

Sailing .. Takes Me Away

Cheryl will be flying from Memphis to Miami in the morning and by afternoon she should be boarding a Carnival Cruise ship for seven days of .. doing absolutely nothing (honey, you could have saved your money .. I accomplish that right here at home).

It's that time again.

Cheryl takes one week a year and tries to escape the hustle and bustle of her busy life in Humboldt (it's a pressure cooker around here) by sailing the seas.

The destination doesn't matter (every place looks the same when you are lying in a lounge chair with a book pressed against your nose). She just likes to get out of town (anywhere past Milan will do), turn off her cell phone (she used to leave it on for emergencies, but evidently I was calling too many times .. I was never good at separating laundry), read a book .. or two .. or eight (how many times do you really need to read Pride and Prejudice?) and have a nice meal .. or two .. or twenty eight.

I went on our first cruise. However, somehow I was banned from .. I believe Cheryl's words were .. "ever setting foot on a ship with me" again.

I'm not much of a "relaxer" and for some reason I make everyone else around me .. uncomfortable? .. no, that's not it .. edgy? .. no, that's not it .. miserable? .. bingo, that's the word.

One week apart helps ensure a healthier relationship and that is a small price to pay (unless you upgrade to a room with a balcony).

"He leadeth me beside the still waters." - Psalm 23:2b