You Can't Get There From Here

Because of Funny Foto Friday, Silly Song Saturday, and RevKev's Day Off I haven't had the venue to share what's been going on in our area over the past two weekends.

Those of you who live in West Tennessee know we have had heavy thunderstorms, tons of rain (some have reported over 16 inches this weekend alone), flash flooding, and tornado watches/warnings/touchdowns .. one, right in my pastor's backyard (perhaps a message that Greg should consider 'going another direction' with next week's sermon).

Speaking of going another direction, that's what Bro. Steve and fifty retreaters (one is my wife) are having to do as they return .. make that .. attempt to return from Fall Creek Falls.

They should have gotten home yesterday afternoon but because a number of major highways were closed .. Interstate 40 included .. they were forced to stay in Cookeville last night.

For crying out loud (I know, strong language for a minister .. sorry, I'm a little frustrated) until late yesterday afternoon you couldn't get from Humboldt to Jackson (12 miles) without going to Dyersburg (48 miles .. in the opposite direction) and looping back.

Hopefully, the water has receded enough today so Cheryl can make it home.

Unfortunately, I am leaving this afternoon for Pickwick (great, just what I wanted to see .. more water) Landing, an 80 mile trip that should take me roughly ... 5 or 6 days, and we will probably be as "two ships that pass in the night" (an ironic analogy, wouldn't you say?).

Even with all the flooding (today's pic shows the corner by our church), we were able to have a Sunday morning service complete with MUSIC, MESSAGE and the collection of MONEY (a tried and true Baptist formula).

It was a little tricky, but the ushers came up with a great way of receiving the offering .. with fishing nets.

Nice catch, boys...

"And, behold, I, even I, do bring a flood of waters upon the earth .." - Genesis 6:17a

RevKev's Day Off

"Six days thou shalt work, but on the seventh day thou shalt rest." - Exodus 34:21a

Silly Song Saturday

"And of every living thing of all flesh, two of every sort .." - Genesis 6:19a

Funny Foto Friday

Splat!

" .. and behold a tree in the midst of the earth, and the height thereof was great." - Daniel 4:10b

Say What??

I did a double-take this morning while looking at the online version (yes, I'm cheap) of The Jackson Sun, my hometown newspaper.

There was a picture of early voters in the Republican primary (three women .. viewed from their backside) with a caption that read "Henderson Primary Sees Large Turnout."

Since I have a warped sense of humor, it brought a smile to my face (please forgive me, Sherri, Kellie and Marcia).

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, things just don't come out quite right.

For instance ...

A death row inmate was allowed to say a few words before his demise in 1994 and the headline in The Boston Globe read, "Man Executed After Long Speech" (watch your back, long-winded preachers).

With a name like Bartolo Colon, you might as well be prepared for a life of heartache. When this Los Angeles Angels pitcher was "in the zone" against the Texas Rangers, the byline read, "Rangers Get Whiff of Colon" (now, that's just not right).

Councilwoman Laura Chick suggested "gender sensitivity" might be in order when she lashed out at City Hall and the local newspaper was there to cover the story with these profound words, "Chick Accuses Some of Her Male Colleagues of Sexism" (lighten up there, missy).

I liked this one, "Meeting on Open Meetings is Closed" (what did you expect? .. we haven't made a decision yet).

Then there was, "Caskets Found as Workers Demolish Mausoleum" .. the story continued with this quote, "We had no idea anyone was buried there!" (surprise, surprise, surprise).

And ...

• "Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case"

• "Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One"

• "Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years"

• "Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead"

• "Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft"

You know my teacher was right. Reading IS fun!

"I also will laugh .." - Proverbs 1:26a

Kev's Klip of the Week

Thanks, Richard D!

"Rejoice ye in that day, and leap for joy: for, behold, your reward is great in heaven .." - Luke 6:23a

Here Comes the "I Scream" Man

Occasionally, my schedule can make me feel anxious and a little overwhelmed. Sometimes it even makes me want to scream.

Well .. cover your ears, folk. It's that time of the month (sorry .. that didn't come out quite right .. or did it??).

Yesterday was .. Monday and that says it all (most ministers resign on that day .. each and every week).

Today, I am speaking at an associational senior adult event at Hickory Withe Baptist Church which is located .. somewhere near Memphis (I really ought to Mapquest that address since I have to be there by 10:30).

This is my second senior adult "gig" in a week's time (I went to Sugar Creek Retirement Center in Brownsville last Thursday .. no one invited me .. I just walked in and started doing my stand-up routine since I really needed the practice for today) and I had the crowd spellbound (you could hear a pin drop the entire time I was speaking).

This Sunday, my SonShiners (they are not exclusive to me, but I like to call them mine) will sing at the West Tennessee Strawberry Festival (a thirty minute mini-concert) and I am directing a Community Choir, as well.

Next week, I am leading the music at a retreat for .. yes, again .. senior adults from First Baptist Church, Bolivar at Pickwick Landing State Park.

Does anyone else see a pattern here?

It doesn't seem like that many years ago I was always asked to do youth events.

Now, it appears I'm exclusively on the geriatric circuit (please, no 'it takes one to know one' comments at the end of this post .. that would just be tacky).

I suppose since all my jokes are "old jokes" .. it's a match made in heaven.

I'm just grateful these events are during the daytime.

I can't see well enough to drive at night.

"But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off .." - II Peter 1:9a