Hey, Don't Rush Me...

I'm still thinking about when... or if I will start posting again.

Last week I was out of the country with my lovely bride celebrating our 30th anniversary (seven days in Cancun... it does the body good) and I was determined not to spend any of that time on "RevKev's blog."

That was a good decision (I make so many poor decisions, a good one is easy to spot) and really took the "pressure to perform" off of me for over a week.

Therein lies the problem.

Now that I've gotten out of the habit (it's kind of like going to the gym daily... or so I've been told), it may be difficult putting my nose back to the grindstone (a painful endeavor... just ask Pinocchio how much he enjoyed his 'nose job') and writing on a regular basis again.

So...

Please bear with me as I do a little sole searching (now where did I put those loafers?), a little Seoul searching (okay, Meredith Hull Ervin just moved to Korea ... let me get out my Atlas... ), and a little soul searching (heads, I stop... tails, I keep going).

Stay tuned.

"The lot is cast into the lap, But its every decision is from the LORD." - Proverbs 16:33

I'm Taking a Break

Just within the last week "RevKev's Blog" has picked up a few new followers ('misguided souls' might be more accurate) and I wanted to do something "nice" (I know .. totally against my nature) to reward these newbies for their support and vote of confidence.

So...

I am taking a blogging break.

That's right.

I need it .. and more importantly .. YOU need it.

When I started this labor of love/big fat hairy mess (it is a little of both) back in 2008, I just wanted to learn about blogging.

Everyone (translated: all the losers) seemed to be doing it and I had no pre-conceived ideas or goals (just like in real life) for my little piece of the world wide web.

Much to my surprise, this thing has skyrocketed (37 followers, you know) and become the "buzz" in the greater Humboldt area .. okay, it's a distant third behind Earl Privett's double-jointed antics and rumors that we might be getting yet another BBQ place in town (I think we're up to five or six at this point).

My point is, people do talk about it... when pressured to do so.

However, since the schools are on "Fall Break" ... I'm taking one, as well (Bloggers Gone Wild on Fall Break, Volume I .. coming soon).

If you have trouble quitting "cold turkey (sometimes it is like that with bad habits)," take a look at the archives. There should be plenty of good reading material there (yes, I still have a problem with lying).

Like MacArthur, I shall return... maybe.

"And the king said unto the man of God, Come home with me, and refresh thyself." - I Kings 13:7a

Hair Today ... Gone Tomorrow

Today (October 14) is Bald and Free Day and although I am not quite there yet, I am fast approaching the requirements necessary for being a card-carrying (or should that be rug-wearing?) member of The Hair Club for Men (look out, Cy Sperling ... I'm not only a member, I want to be the president).

Most men have a fear of going bald.

Not me.

Just think of all the money I'd save over the course of a lifetime on haircuts, hair spray, hair gel, mousse, pomade, shampoo, conditioner, brushes, and combs.

Plus... no bad hair days.

Of course there are all those "jabs" and "jokes."

Like...

What do you call forty rabbits walking backward? A receding hareline.

and...

You're so bald... when you wear a turtleneck you look like a roll-on deodorant.

and...

God was good to you. He gave you a handsome face... and room for another one.

and...

Doctor, doctor, can you give me something for my baldness? Sure. Rub pig manure all over your scalp every morning when you first get out of bed. Will that cure my hair loss? No, but no one will get close enough to notice you're bald.

Just a word of warning to those who persecute the "follicly challenged"...

Watch your back.

"From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. 'Go on up, you baldhead!' they said. 'Go on up, you baldhead!'

He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths."

- II Kings 2:23-24

Kev's Klip of the Week

I posted today's "Klip of the Week" on my Facebook page more than a week ago, so many of you have already seen this. However, it is certainly worthy a REview!

Thanks to Phil Nelson for finding this gem and sending it my way.

" .. rejoice in the dance, both young men and old together." - Jeremiah 31:31b

Up A Lazy River (Without a Paddle)

I woke up this morning (actually, that is a little optimistic .. I'm sitting here at the computer in a semi-conscience state) feeling kind of lazy and any attempt on my part to "fake my way" through a blog post would be both obvious (you could tell my heart wasn't in it) and futile (pointless, useless, ineffectual, ineffective, inefficacious, to no effect, of no use, in vain, to no avail, unavailing; unsuccessful, failed, thwarted; unproductive, barren, unprofitable, abortive; impotent, hollow, empty, forlorn, idle, hopeless).

Since I am feeling a little on the lazy side, here are some quotes on that subject:

• Tomorrow is the only day in the year that appeals to a lazy man. - Jimmy Lyons

• Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. - Jules Renard

• Offer the lazy an egg, and they'll want you to peel it for them. - A Proverb

• If you have a difficult task give it to a lazy man, he will find an easier way to do it. - Hlade’s Law

• You can't teach people to be lazy - either they have it, or they don't. - Dagwood Bumstead

Of course there are many, many other quotes on laziness.

If you want to see them, you can... look 'em up yourself.

"The sluggard buries his hand in the dish; he is too lazy to bring it back to his mouth." - Proverbs 26:15

Happy Second Monday in October!

The anniversary of Christopher Columbus' 1492 arrival in the Americas (he landed in the Bahamas) has been celebrated in New York City since 1792.

In 1934, at the request of the Knights of Columbus (they had more pull than the Knights of Broadway), Congress and President Franklin Delano Roosevelt made Columbus Day a Federal holiday.

To the "average Joe" .. it is also true for the "slightly below or above average Joe" and the "gifted Joe" .. this doesn't mean that much.

We are still going in to work today (the exception? .. 'retired Joe' who has been known to check out this blog .. when he finally arises, sometime in late afternoon).

To most of us, Columbus Day is pretty much like any other day of the year. The only difference is ...

We won't be receiving any mail and it is impossible to cash a check.

Of course the irony in this whole "in fourteen hundred and ninety two, Columbus sailed the ocean blue" (I just made that up, you know) thing is that good ole Chris thought he had landed in Asia.

Oops.

Obviously, there wasn't a woman onboard to say, "You should have turned back there."

" .. we launched, meaning to sail by the coasts of Asia .." - Acts 27:2b

RevKev's Day Off

"Six days thou shalt work, but on the seventh day thou shalt rest." - Exodus 34:21a

Silly Song Saturday

"Put the turban on his head... " - Exodus 29:6a

Funny Foto Friday

Hmm....

"Since no man knows the future, who can tell him what is to come?" - Ecclesiastes 8:7

What's Up, Doc?

A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. "What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor. The doctor replies, "You're not eating right"

________

What's the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist? One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what he treats.

________

Three doctors are in the duck blind and a bird flies overhead. The general practitioner looks at it and says, "Looks like a duck, flies like a duck... it's probably a duck," shoots at it but misses and the bird flies away.

The next bird flies overhead, and the pathologist looks at it, then looks through the pages of a bird manual, and says, "Hmmmm...green wings, yellow bill, quacking sound...might be a duck." He raises his gun to shoot it, but the bird is long gone.

A third bird flies over. The surgeon raises his gun and shoots almost without looking, brings the bird down, and turns to the pathologist and says, "Go see if that was a duck."

________

A man goes to the eye doctor. The receptionist asks him why he is there. The man complains, "I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes." The receptionist asks, "Have you ever seen a doctor?" and the man replies, "No, just spots."

________

A guy walks into a doctor's office and the receptionist asks him what he has. He says, "Shingles." So she takes down his name, address, medical insurance number and tells him to have a seat.

A few minutes later a nurse's aid comes out and asks him what he has. He says, "Shingles." So she takes down his height, weight, a complete medical history and tells him to wait in the examining room.

Ten minutes later a nurse comes in and asks him what he has. He says, "Shingles." So she gives him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and tells him to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.

Fifteen minutes later the doctor comes in and asks him what he has. He says, "Shingles." The doctor says, "Where?" He replies, "Outside in the truck. Where do you want them?"

__

"Is there no balm in Gilead; is there no physician there? why then is not the health of the daughter of my people recovered?" - Jeremiah 8:22

Kev's Klip of the Week

I love people (and churches) with a good, healthy sense of humor.

Kudos to North Point Ministries for not taking themselves too seriously and for making us think just a little.

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God-this is your spiritual act of worship." - Romans 12:1

I'm in the Ministry... of Silly Walks

... and now for something completely different.

This will be a "clips only" week on RevKev's blog.

Why? Because I said so.

Now, shut your mouth and eat your food (is that even possible????).

October 5th, 1969 - Monty Python's Flying Circus debuts.

"Ye shall walk in all the ways which the LORD your God hath commanded you, that ye may live, and that it may be well with you, and that ye may prolong your days in the land which ye shall possess." - Deuteronomy 5:33

Watch It, Buster

Happy Birthday to The Great Stone Face

Buster Keaton

Oct. 4, 1895 - Feb. 1, 1966

"The righteous also shall see, and fear, and shall laugh at him" - Psalm 52:6

RevKev's Day Off

"Six days thou shalt work, but on the seventh day thou shalt rest." - Exodus 34:21a

Silly Song Saturday

The Lord alps those who alp themselves.

"All the animals and all the creatures that move along the ground and all the birds--everything that moves on the earth--came .." - Genesis 8:19a

Funny Foto Friday

"Though his face is covered with fat and his waist bulges with flesh." - Job 15:27

Here's Mud in Your Eye

According to holidayinsights.com ... and Facebook friend, TLWI (she wouldn't joke about something as serious as this) ... September 30 is National Mud Pack Day and since my name has been "mud" on more than one occasion (both professionally and personally), I was somewhat intrigued by this special day.

Mud baths have been in existence for thousands of years and can now be found in some of the more exclusive spas in many countries of the world (for some reason the 'sand bath' never really took off ... Well, technically it did take off ... the outer couple of layers of skin).

The use of mud packs (according to the four page, full-color brochure) is effective in the treatment of chronic inflammation caused by internal diseases, bruises, sprains, boils, and wounds because the mud is able to retain moisture and coolness for longer periods than cold water packs or compresses.

The cold moisture in the mud packs relaxes the pores of the skin, draws the blood into the surface, relieves inner congestion and pain, promotes heat radiation, and eliminates toxins in the body.

Of course, not all types of muds are beneficial.

For example, when ingested, "Mississippi Mud" produces fat cells.

To avoid this, simply apply topically (I wouldn't suggest going outdoors during this 'treatment' ... it also produces ... flies).

When I was a child I would get in big trouble for getting my "Sunday clothes" muddy before going to church.

Too bad I didn't know about all these benefits back then.

Mud. It does the body good.

"He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand." - Psalm 40:2

Kev's Klip of the Week

"And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man."

- Genesis 2:22

The Days Are Getting Shorter??

I thought the days were supposed to get longer during the summer and shorter during the fall/winter???

Well, so far ... it ain't happening that way!

The last few days have been the longest I have experienced in some time (I'm pretty sure Sunday alone had 25 or 26 hours in it).

Perhaps it is because I am getting older and "burning the candle at both ends" is not as easy as it was back in my younger days (like ... when I was 40).

If it is true that "time flies when you're having fun" ... I must be a man, most miserable (that's not the case at all ... they say 'misery loves company' and I don't have time for company).

I have been so tired the last three nights, I could barely drag myself off the couch (this is understandable, of course ... I weigh 155 pounds and I've had hernia surgery) to go to the bedroom.

When I was little, mom or dad would just pick me up while I was sleeping, carry me to the bed, and tuck me in.

Well, they weren't here (Cheryl refuses to do it .. anymore).

With Saturday's reunion (morning and evening activities) and starting revival services at FBC Lexington on Sunday (the day began with a men's breakfast at 7:30), I have had plenty to keep me busy and out of trouble (I need all the help I can get, you know).

Glancing at my organizer (yeah, I was just kidding about having one of those), it looks like I'll be "keeping my nose clean" for quite a while, if I don't ... "blow it."

".. your servant was busy here and there .."

- I Kings 20:40a

How Do You Mend a Broken Hip

My 35 year high school reunion was this past weekend and all I can say is ... "Wow!" ... and maybe also, "Ow!" (I'm not as young as I used to be).

This event has been a long time coming (thirty five years to be exact) and I don't think anyone was disappointed (except for those who couldn't/wouldn't attend).

The last time the class of '75 from South Side High School got together was in 1995 and for some reason ... I missed it.

Perhaps I had a previous engagement? (No, that couldn't be it ... I'm already married).

Perhaps I didn't get the word? (Is it possible they kept this information from me on purpose??? ... Maybe I'm paranoid, but when people are out to get you, there's good reason to be).

Perhaps I just decided it was not worth the time or effort ... or money?

All I know is if the 20 year gathering was half as fun as this one ... I missed out, big time!

Of course, there were some challenges on Saturday.

Many of my classmates looked like a slightly older version of themselves from senior year and they were easy to identify.

Others had changed so much we had to ask for two forms of identification before allowing them to enter the banquet room at the Doubletree Hotel (we couldn't afford to have spies from North Side crashing our party, now could we?).

After the meal of boneless chicken breasts, steamed veggies with no salt, and sugar-free pie (the menu was 'over fifty friendly'), we had a brief program (our attention span is even shorter than it was back in 1975 ... during sixth period ... on a Friday), had a class photo made (no blue velvet wraps or tuxes this time) and then proceeded to "get down" on the dance floor (some were even able to get back up).

Many months of planning went into this event (it took longer because no one could remember what we did at the previous meeting ... then we started taking notes) and all that hard work paid off in the end.

When we all got together is was just like high school again (minus the bad hair styles and pimples, of course) and you just can't put a price tag on that.

Actually, you can ... $50 a person.

Now the challenge is Stayin' Alive ... Stayin' Alive until we meet again.

Hopefully, we won't wait another fifteen years.

"Remember the days of old .." - Deuteronomy 32:7a

RevKev's Day Off

"Six days thou shalt work, but on the seventh day thou shalt rest." - Exodus 34:21a

Silly Song Saturday

My thirty five year high school reunion is today and it begins with a classmates continental breakfast (there were several fruits in the class of '75 ... I'm the ham) and a tour of South Side High School (that should take ten minutes... tops) at 9:30 this morning, so I need to go get ready.

Now...

Oh, where is my hairbrush?

"Howbeit the hair of his head began to grow again after he was shaven." - Judges 16:22

Funny Foto Friday

REUNITED, AND IT FEELS SO GOOD

My 35 year high school reunion is this weekend and I am excited about renewing old (really old) acquaintances.

South Side High School class of '75, ready or not... here I come!

"The people of Judah and the people of Israel will be reunited .." - Hosea 1:11a

Meet the Jetsons

On September 23, 1962 one of my favorite childhood cartoons (my absolute favorite was Jonny Quest) premiered during prime-time (and you thought The Simpsons was groundbreaking television) on ABC.

Yes, believe it or not, the adventures of The Jetsons hit the airwaves 48 years ago (that would make daughter, Judy sixty four now ... actually since the show was set in the year 2062, that would make her ... well, not born yet ... btw, I do know cartoon characters aren't real ... now).

The original series had 24 episodes and was re-run on Saturday mornings for decades (that's where I first 'met' Judy ... hey, don't judge. I knew Betty Rubble was a married woman and there was no way we could ever be together).

Of course, there were other Jetson family members besides Judy ... but who cares?

Okay, if you insist...

George Jetson - Father in this "situation comedy." He works "full-time," 9 hours a week, at Spacely's Sprockets (this is even better than working two days a week ... like me).

Jane Jetson - George's wife. She is a homemaker and loves shopping at Mooning Dales (there's a joke in there somewhere, but I'm not going for it).

Judy - Teenage daughter. She loves clothes, going out and revealing secrets to her digital diary (... and she broke my heart).

Elroy - Six (and a half) year old son. He attends Little Dipper School and is highly intelligent (hopefully he was smart enough to have his name legally changed later in life ... Elroy? ... oh, come on!!).

Rosie - The household robot. She's an outdated model, but the Jetsons would never trade her in since she is like a member of the family (plus ... George would have the ACLU all over him).

Astro - The family dog. Like Scooby-Doo and Muttley (two other Hanna-Barbera creations back in 1962), he can talk (although with a slight impediment ... his words begin with an 'r' ... Ruh-roh!).

Futurama may be "all that" these days. However, remember it all started back in 1962 ... or in the future in 2062 (this sci-fi stuff is more complicated than the movie, Inception ... or Lindsay Lohan ... okay, maybe not as complicated as the latter), with a family called ... The Jetsons.

"Jane! Stop this crazy thing!"

They just don't write 'em like that anymore.

"Since no man knows the future, who can tell him what is to come?" - Ecclesiastes 8:7