Here's Mud in Your Eye

According to holidayinsights.com ... and Facebook friend, TLWI (she wouldn't joke about something as serious as this) ... September 30 is National Mud Pack Day and since my name has been "mud" on more than one occasion (both professionally and personally), I was somewhat intrigued by this special day.

Mud baths have been in existence for thousands of years and can now be found in some of the more exclusive spas in many countries of the world (for some reason the 'sand bath' never really took off ... Well, technically it did take off ... the outer couple of layers of skin).

The use of mud packs (according to the four page, full-color brochure) is effective in the treatment of chronic inflammation caused by internal diseases, bruises, sprains, boils, and wounds because the mud is able to retain moisture and coolness for longer periods than cold water packs or compresses.

The cold moisture in the mud packs relaxes the pores of the skin, draws the blood into the surface, relieves inner congestion and pain, promotes heat radiation, and eliminates toxins in the body.

Of course, not all types of muds are beneficial.

For example, when ingested, "Mississippi Mud" produces fat cells.

To avoid this, simply apply topically (I wouldn't suggest going outdoors during this 'treatment' ... it also produces ... flies).

When I was a child I would get in big trouble for getting my "Sunday clothes" muddy before going to church.

Too bad I didn't know about all these benefits back then.

Mud. It does the body good.

"He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand." - Psalm 40:2

Kev's Klip of the Week

"And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man."

- Genesis 2:22

The Days Are Getting Shorter??

I thought the days were supposed to get longer during the summer and shorter during the fall/winter???

Well, so far ... it ain't happening that way!

The last few days have been the longest I have experienced in some time (I'm pretty sure Sunday alone had 25 or 26 hours in it).

Perhaps it is because I am getting older and "burning the candle at both ends" is not as easy as it was back in my younger days (like ... when I was 40).

If it is true that "time flies when you're having fun" ... I must be a man, most miserable (that's not the case at all ... they say 'misery loves company' and I don't have time for company).

I have been so tired the last three nights, I could barely drag myself off the couch (this is understandable, of course ... I weigh 155 pounds and I've had hernia surgery) to go to the bedroom.

When I was little, mom or dad would just pick me up while I was sleeping, carry me to the bed, and tuck me in.

Well, they weren't here (Cheryl refuses to do it .. anymore).

With Saturday's reunion (morning and evening activities) and starting revival services at FBC Lexington on Sunday (the day began with a men's breakfast at 7:30), I have had plenty to keep me busy and out of trouble (I need all the help I can get, you know).

Glancing at my organizer (yeah, I was just kidding about having one of those), it looks like I'll be "keeping my nose clean" for quite a while, if I don't ... "blow it."

".. your servant was busy here and there .."

- I Kings 20:40a

How Do You Mend a Broken Hip

My 35 year high school reunion was this past weekend and all I can say is ... "Wow!" ... and maybe also, "Ow!" (I'm not as young as I used to be).

This event has been a long time coming (thirty five years to be exact) and I don't think anyone was disappointed (except for those who couldn't/wouldn't attend).

The last time the class of '75 from South Side High School got together was in 1995 and for some reason ... I missed it.

Perhaps I had a previous engagement? (No, that couldn't be it ... I'm already married).

Perhaps I didn't get the word? (Is it possible they kept this information from me on purpose??? ... Maybe I'm paranoid, but when people are out to get you, there's good reason to be).

Perhaps I just decided it was not worth the time or effort ... or money?

All I know is if the 20 year gathering was half as fun as this one ... I missed out, big time!

Of course, there were some challenges on Saturday.

Many of my classmates looked like a slightly older version of themselves from senior year and they were easy to identify.

Others had changed so much we had to ask for two forms of identification before allowing them to enter the banquet room at the Doubletree Hotel (we couldn't afford to have spies from North Side crashing our party, now could we?).

After the meal of boneless chicken breasts, steamed veggies with no salt, and sugar-free pie (the menu was 'over fifty friendly'), we had a brief program (our attention span is even shorter than it was back in 1975 ... during sixth period ... on a Friday), had a class photo made (no blue velvet wraps or tuxes this time) and then proceeded to "get down" on the dance floor (some were even able to get back up).

Many months of planning went into this event (it took longer because no one could remember what we did at the previous meeting ... then we started taking notes) and all that hard work paid off in the end.

When we all got together is was just like high school again (minus the bad hair styles and pimples, of course) and you just can't put a price tag on that.

Actually, you can ... $50 a person.

Now the challenge is Stayin' Alive ... Stayin' Alive until we meet again.

Hopefully, we won't wait another fifteen years.

"Remember the days of old .." - Deuteronomy 32:7a

RevKev's Day Off

"Six days thou shalt work, but on the seventh day thou shalt rest." - Exodus 34:21a

Silly Song Saturday

My thirty five year high school reunion is today and it begins with a classmates continental breakfast (there were several fruits in the class of '75 ... I'm the ham) and a tour of South Side High School (that should take ten minutes... tops) at 9:30 this morning, so I need to go get ready.

Now...

Oh, where is my hairbrush?

"Howbeit the hair of his head began to grow again after he was shaven." - Judges 16:22

Funny Foto Friday

REUNITED, AND IT FEELS SO GOOD

My 35 year high school reunion is this weekend and I am excited about renewing old (really old) acquaintances.

South Side High School class of '75, ready or not... here I come!

"The people of Judah and the people of Israel will be reunited .." - Hosea 1:11a

Meet the Jetsons

On September 23, 1962 one of my favorite childhood cartoons (my absolute favorite was Jonny Quest) premiered during prime-time (and you thought The Simpsons was groundbreaking television) on ABC.

Yes, believe it or not, the adventures of The Jetsons hit the airwaves 48 years ago (that would make daughter, Judy sixty four now ... actually since the show was set in the year 2062, that would make her ... well, not born yet ... btw, I do know cartoon characters aren't real ... now).

The original series had 24 episodes and was re-run on Saturday mornings for decades (that's where I first 'met' Judy ... hey, don't judge. I knew Betty Rubble was a married woman and there was no way we could ever be together).

Of course, there were other Jetson family members besides Judy ... but who cares?

Okay, if you insist...

George Jetson - Father in this "situation comedy." He works "full-time," 9 hours a week, at Spacely's Sprockets (this is even better than working two days a week ... like me).

Jane Jetson - George's wife. She is a homemaker and loves shopping at Mooning Dales (there's a joke in there somewhere, but I'm not going for it).

Judy - Teenage daughter. She loves clothes, going out and revealing secrets to her digital diary (... and she broke my heart).

Elroy - Six (and a half) year old son. He attends Little Dipper School and is highly intelligent (hopefully he was smart enough to have his name legally changed later in life ... Elroy? ... oh, come on!!).

Rosie - The household robot. She's an outdated model, but the Jetsons would never trade her in since she is like a member of the family (plus ... George would have the ACLU all over him).

Astro - The family dog. Like Scooby-Doo and Muttley (two other Hanna-Barbera creations back in 1962), he can talk (although with a slight impediment ... his words begin with an 'r' ... Ruh-roh!).

Futurama may be "all that" these days. However, remember it all started back in 1962 ... or in the future in 2062 (this sci-fi stuff is more complicated than the movie, Inception ... or Lindsay Lohan ... okay, maybe not as complicated as the latter), with a family called ... The Jetsons.

"Jane! Stop this crazy thing!"

They just don't write 'em like that anymore.

"Since no man knows the future, who can tell him what is to come?" - Ecclesiastes 8:7

Kev's Klip of the Week

In the most technical sense, today's "klip" is really not a clip at all.

It is an animation.

However, since yesterday's "post" was not much of a post (sorry ... Tuesday I seemed to be suffering from a terrible case of mental constipation) ... I hope you can overlook it.

Last week, a stray kitten "appeared" at our door. Since the poor thing was hungry, we put some food out for it to eat and ... guess what?

Evidently, Cheryl and I are now adoptive parents (Matthew West should be writing a song about our experience any day now).

If you drop by the Hamilton house, keep an eye out for "JJ" (that stands for 'Jack Jr.' .. named after my daughter's all-black cat).

He hangs out in the back with all the other "cool cats."

"He hath filled the hungry with good things .."

- Luke 1:53

Beverly Hills Cop Out

Jerome Leon "Jerry" Bruckheimer (born September 21, 1945) is an American film and television producer who has achieved great success in the genres of action, drama, and science fiction.

His best known television series are CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, CSI: Miami, CSI: NY, Without a Trace, Cold Case, The Amazing Race, and Dark Blue.

Bruckheimer movies include Top Gun, The Rock, Con Air, Crimson Tide, Armageddon, Enemy of the State, Gone in 60 Seconds, Black Hawk Down, Pearl Harbor, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Prince of Persia.

Here is a "blast from the past" and one of my favorites from 1984 (the edited for television version, of course).

I even have the theme song as a ringtone!

Happy Birthday, Jerry!

"Let the floods clap their hands: let the hills be joyful together" - Psalm 98:8

The Battle of the Sexes: An Unfair Fight

Thirty seven years ago on this day (September 20, 1973), tennis great, Billie Jean King (age 29) defeated former Wimbledon men's singles champ, Bobby Riggs (age 55) at the Houston Astrodome in a match (not made in heaven, btw) billed as "The Battle of the Sexes."

Once again...

Girls rule. Guys drool.

That is just how things are.

There are differences between men and women (yes, I am very perceptive... and observant). The sooner guys learn this, the better... for everyone.

Matt Groening (cartoonist, screenwriter, producer and creator of The Simpsons) points out some of these differences in an article entitled, "Men vs Women."

Here are a few excerpts:

Maturity

Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year-old females can function as adults. Most 17-year-old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work.

Comedy

Let's say a small group of men and women are in a room, watching television, and an episode of "The Three Stooges" comes on. Immediately, the men will get very excited; they will laugh uproariously, and even try to imitate the actions of Curly, man's favorite stooge. The women will roll their eyes and groan and wait it out.

Handwriting

To their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship. They just chicken-scratch. Women use scented, colored stationary and they dot their "i's" with circles and hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in their "p's" and "g's". It is a royal pain to read a note from a woman. Even when she's dumping you, she'll put a smiley face at the end of the note.

Bathrooms

A man has at most six items in his bathroom - a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

Groceries

A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes to the store and buys these things. A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lemon and something turning green. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter that the Clampetts' car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.

Going Out

When a man says he is ready to go out, it means he is ready to go out. When a woman says she is ready to go out, it means she WILL be ready to go out, as soon as she finds her other earring, finishes putting on her makeup...

Cats

Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

Jewelry

Women look nice when they wear jewelry. A man can get away with wearing one ring, and that's it. Any more than that, and he will look like a lounge singer named Vic.

Plants

A woman asks a man to water her plants while she is on vacation. The man waters the plants. The woman comes home five days later, to an apartment full of dead plants. No one knows why this happens.

There, you have it guys.

Now do you see why we can never win... no matter what the circumstance?

Me neither.

Evidently, that's just the way God intended.

"It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house."

- Proverbs 25:24

RevKev's Day Off

"Six days thou shalt work, but on the seventh day thou shalt rest." - Exodus 34:21a

Silly Song Saturday

Eventually, I am going to run out of "Saturday material" from the good people at Big Idea and when that happens I will be forced to look elsewhere.

However, until that happens ...

Here's another silly song from the VeggieTales gang.

"And when the LORD saw that he turned aside to see, God called unto him out of the midst of the bush, and said, Moses, Moses." - Exodus 3:4a

Funny Foto Friday

"Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them .."

- Romans 16:7a

They Said It Couldn't Be Done ... So I Didn't Try

Feeling lazy, so ... no post today.

THE END.

"If a man is lazy, the rafters sag; if his hands are idle, the house leaks." - Ecclesiastes 10:18

Kev's Klip of the Week

In yesterday's post I gave you .. in my opinion .. the two ingredients for a successful marriage: 1) laughter and 2) being genuine .. or honesty, if you will.

Here is the late George Younce singing his version of "Side By Side."

The audio is not great, but it sounds like someone is batting .500!

"As it is, there are many parts, but one body."

- I Corinthians 12:20

Funny You Should Say That

Cheryl and I recently celebrated 30 years of "matrimonial bliss" (that's my assessment .. you'll have to ask her if she concurs .. btw, since I have a fear of rejection .. don't tell me what she says) and I thought that was pretty impressive.

Well, today is the 57th wedding anniversary of husband and wife comedy team, Stiller and Meara, so that makes us mere amateurs.

Despite several obstacles (both are in showbiz .. he's Jewish, she's Catholic .. he's a man, she's a woman...) this couple has managed to "beat the odds" and remain .. a couple.

Laughter is not only a "good medicine" (I just came up with that on my own), it is one of two key ingredients in the recipe for a successful marriage.

The other .. is to be completely genuine.

Once you've learned to fake that, it's smooth sailing.

Here is clip of Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara from an old episode of The King of Queens.

Hang in there.

They say the first 60 years are the hardest.

"A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives."

- I Corinthians 7:39a

I Wish I Had Said That

September 13th is FORTUNE COOKIE DAY (it is also INTERNATIONAL CHOCOLATE DAY, but someone has already beaten me to the punch and posted every conceivable humorous saying regarding that "delectable delight" on Facebook .. thanks a lot TWI) so .. if you have the misfortune of reading my blog .. today's entry is simply a list of "quips" and "quotes" that have made their way into these little "tasteless treats" (what are they made from? flavored styrofoam??).

• Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.

• You will be hungry again in one hour.

• Help! I am being held prisoner in a Chinese bakery.

• A woman who seeks to be equal with men lacks ambition.

• He who laughs last is laughing at you.

• A closed mouth gathers no feet.

• The world may be your oyster, but it doesn't mean you'll get its pearl.

• The fortune you seek is in another cookie.

• Never forget a friend. Especially if he owes you.

• Its about time I got out of that cookie.

• A can of worms won't open itself.

• That wasn't chicken!

These are some sayings we'd like to see (courtesy of dribbleglass.com):

• Never give up. Unless defeat arouses that girl in accounting.

• Long time figuring out tip, genius.

• If you can read this, you did not attend public school.

• Confucius say nothing until royalty payments received.

• Your nature makes you popular and a favorite of bail bondsmen.

• Your day will come. You can watch it from heaven.

• Hard times are behind you. Impossible times lie just ahead.

• Your plans would come to fruition if you weren't limited by being you.

"Restore our fortunes, O Lord .." - Psalm 126:4a

RevKev's Day Off

Sunday is my "day of rest" ... from blogging.

Come back tomorrow (if you dare).

"Six days thou shalt work, but on the seventh day thou shalt rest." - Exodus 34:21a

Silly Song Saturday

"The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, and he was limping because of his hip." - Genesis 32:31

Funny Foto Friday

Here, Kitty, Kitty.

"Now the LORD had prepared a great fish .." - Jonah 1:17

Wow .. That Was Weird

Weirdos.

We all know them (if you've never met one, perhaps you should take a long, hard look in the mirror) or are related to one .. or two .. or ten (shake the family tree hard enough and ...).

The aunt who lives in an 500 square foot apartment .. with 37 cats.

A cousin who walks around town donning a wool scarf, heavy winter coat and coonskin cap .. in the month of July.

The neighbor who goes out to the mailbox wearing only boxers, flip flops .. and an evil grin.

The women who likes to vacuum in the nude .. with the curtains open.

The guy on the bus who sings along with his iPod .. to the top of his lungs .. off key.

The man in the park carrying on a heated argument over this Bluetooth headset, only .. there's no Bluetooth headset.

They say that "every dog has its day" (actually, multiple ones during the summer). Well, the same is true for weirdos and it is today, September 9.

Wonderful Weirdos Day started ten years ago in Austin, Texas when a special day was set aside to celebrate the uniqueness of its citizens (now you know why they say don't mess with Texas).

Coincidently, I have family in Austin and they have been living there for well over ten years .. no comments, please.

Even if you don't consider yourself a weirdo (weird is in the eye of the beholder), why not take the opportunity to do something strange and "off the wall" on this special day.

Get on an elevator and instead of facing the door, face the people.

Go to the meat department at your local grocery and ring the little bell. When the guy with the white apron comes out, point your finger at him and scream, "YOU BUTCHER!"

Order a Big Mac, fries and a coke from the drive-through .. at the bank.

You gotta love a weirdo.

It's true. Just ask my wife.

"Jehu went back to his fellow officers, and one of them asked him, 'What did that crazy fellow want? Is everything all right?' 'You know the way such a man babbles on,' Jehu replied." - II Kings 9:11