RevKev's Day Off

"Six days thou shalt work, but on the seventh day thou shalt rest." - Exodus 34:21a

Snow, Snow, Snow

Kudos to the students .. and especially teachers .. who prayed fervently for the snow to fall in West Tennessee.

Boy did it ever!

Today's post is a plethora of snow-related pics for your viewing pleasure.

Bundle up!

"Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow." - Psalm 51:7

Funny Foto Friday

Nascar Baby

"For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of him." - I Samuel 1:27

Snow or No Snow? .. That Is the Question

Tonight they are calling for wintry mix (just add water .. and stir) .. then .. wintry mix to snow on Friday morning, snow on Friday night and more snow on Saturday.

This can only mean one thing .. no snow whatsoever in Humboldt.

Sorry for the cynicism (it's so unlike me), but I've gotten my hopes up too many times only to have my dreams dashed and spirit crushed when that "100% chance of snow" turned out being a few flakes with a lot of wind (like some of the Baptist preachers I have encountered over the years).

Perhaps the weather pros are "spot on" this time and we are in for several inches here in West Tennessee.

If that is the case .. great.

However, I'm not willing to get all psyched (I said psyched .. not psycho .. 'Mother, please...!') over the possibility and then end up disappointed .. again.

Who knows.

Many prayers from students and teachers alike (especially teachers) are going up at this time and just the possibility of a long weekend is perhaps the only thing carrying them through the day.

In the meantime, I am going about my regular daily routine (gotta wrap this up .. bathroom break in five) and trying not to think (should be easy .. I rarely do) about it .. too much.

I wonder if our old sled is still in the storage building?

"For he saith to the snow, Be thou on the earth"

- Job 37:6a

Kev's Klip of the Week

Even if you are not a sports fans, it is worth watching the Super Bowl .. if for no other reason .. for the commercials.

This week and next I will post a couple I find memorable.

Enjoy .. again.

"And God said, "Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind." And it was so." - Genesis 1:24

One Decade at a Time

Then

Now

I want to take this opportunity to wish Eddie Van Halen a very Happy Birthday!

This rocker from back when I was in high school/college doesn't look a day over 70 .. although he is only 55 years old (I say only because I am just a few years shy of that milestone, as well).

I have often heard that men age far more gracefully than women.

As men get older, they often look more handsome and distinguished.

Don't believe me?

Look at Harrison Ford .. or Sean Connery (Cheryl could .. for hours). They are two examples of just how kind Father Time can be to the male species.

There are exceptions, however.

In order to age gracefully, you must have at least had .. at one time .. something to work with.

If you looked like you "fell out of an ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down" when you were younger, chances are age will only exacerbate the problem.

Of course other factors can come in to play and accelerate the aging process.

This is the case with Eddie Van Halen.

All those years of "hard living" on the road has finally caught up with this "pretty face" and now .. well, let's just leave it at that.

Ironically (with the help of Jenny Craig), Valerie Bertinelli (his former wife) has "reinvented" herself in recent years and looks amazing (almost as amazing as my wife).

Granted, she is only forty nine (she'll be fifty years old in April), but I don't think the next five years are going to be as hard on her as they were on Eddie.

I'm certainly no George Clooney (George Gobel, maybe .. but not even close to George Clooney), but I can't believe I've changed that much over these past 30 years or so.

I attribute this to diet, exercise, and good clean living (I'm a non drinker, non smoker).

Of course, it doesn't hurt having a portrait of myself at home that ages so that I don't.

"They shall still bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be fat and flourishing." - Psalm 92:14

The (Useless) Facts of Life

One of my friends on Facebook started using trivia for their status updates lately and I have really enjoyed reading these little snippets of useless information .. as opposed to things like .. "Go Colts!!" .. "It's Friday!!!!" .. or .. "I'm pretty sure it's ringworm."

Since I am the king of useless information (let's face it .. revkevhamilton.com has no intrinsic value, whatsoever .. and that's the way I like it .. uh huh, uh huh), today's post will continue the fine tradition established here back in May of 2008 (has it really been that long??? .. I've got to get a life).

Did you know ...

• The first man to distill bourbon whiskey in the United States (in 1789) was a Baptist preacher (he says he was just doing research for a sermon .. yeah, right)
• The ancient Egyptians recommended mixing half an onion with beer foam as a way of warding off death (it also warded off members of the opposite sex and most wild animals)
• Henry Ford flatly stated that history is "bunk" (he did believe, however, that wrestling was real)
• John Hancock was the only one of fifty signers of the Declaration of Independence who actually signed it on July 4 (all the others were at a barbecue and were too plastered to even hold a quill)
• Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time (if he had learned to also speak out of both sides of his mouth, he might have had a highly successful career in politics)
• A rat can last longer without water than a camel (speaking of politics ...)
• Walt Disney was afraid of mice (he quickly got over it, however, when he received his first check for Steamboat Willie)
• Daniel Boone detested coonskin caps (this occurred after he mistakenly put a live raccoon on his head .. after spending some time with a certain Baptist preacher)

That's all the useless info I have for today.

If you come back tomorrow, I'll try to make it worth your while.

Who am I kidding?

"Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise."

- Proverbs 20:1

RevKev's Day Off

"Six days thou shalt work, but on the seventh day thou shalt rest." - Exodus 34:21a

Smile ... Pretty Please

Tonight I am speaking at my first banquet of 2010.

It is a little bit of a surprise since most of my "gigs" don't start until the month of February .. specifically, the weekend of Valentines Day .. which evidently is the time when God meant for banquets to be held.

Everyone thinks of July and August as being the hottest months.

When it comes to banquets, however, that distinction goes to December and February.

It seems every church and their brother .. or should that be .. and their brethren?? .. wants to have some type of banquet around Christmas or Valentines Day.

I am one of the most popular guys you have ever seen during the second and twelfth months of the year when I receive far more invitations than I can fulfill.

The other ten months?

Lepers get more social interaction.

Thank you, Calvary (my friend, David G has spent years of vanity and pride there) Baptist Church for thinking outside the box (as I said, David G is there .. now that's way outside the box .. and off the wall, too) by having a banquet in January.

You won't be sorry .. unless you are expecting to laugh.

It's hard to be funny during the off months.

".. God has made laughter for me; everyone who hears will laugh with me." - Genesis 21:6

Funny Foto Friday

Those RevKev readers who are "early risers" know that I post this nonsense fairly early in the A.M. .. except on Fridays and Saturdays when I like to sleep in (often as late as 7:30).

To the "Average Joe" (like the retired jb .. who evidently uses the 12 o'clock whistle as his alarm clock) this is no problem.

However, if your morning ritual consists of checking email, drinking a cup of coffee and reading this blog (some people do read this stuff .. it's another one of life's mysteries .. like .. why do the residents of Metropolis get really excited if they think they see a bird or plane?), my late posting could cause stress .. and in some extreme cases .. vomiting and diarrhea (if these symptoms persist for more than two days, consult your physician).

Today I begin a new feature called Funny Foto Friday (yes Katie .. I know it should be spelled ph-oto, so I'm saving you an email .. at least regarding this).

That should take care of the situation on Fridays.

Now, if I could only come up with something quick and easy for the first day of the weekend ...

How about .. Sarcastic Saturday? .. I could post one smart aleck statement every week.

No. That really wouldn't be any different than what you get here on a regular basis .. and I'm pretty sure I couldn't limit myself to only one sarcastic remark.

Perhaps .. Secret Sound Saturday? .. I could upload an audio clip and ask you to identify it.

No. I already foresee a scenario where that could get ugly .. fast.

I'll continue to work on it .. and keep you posted.

"The words of his mouth are iniquity and deceit: he hath left off to be wise, and to do good." - Psalm 36:3

This Day in History

It is Thursday, January 21.

On this day in history:

• 1793 France's King Louis XVI was executed by the guillotine for committing treason (on the up side .. he never had another sinus headache .. lucky)

• 1915 The first Kiwanis Club was founded (the Indian word means 'we trade' or 'we share our talents' .. much better than their first choice which translates 'thanks for stealing our land .. jerks')

• 1950 Author George Orwell died in London (he 'bought the farm')

• 1977 President Jimmy Carter pardoned almost all Vietnam War draft evaders (he told them next time .. bring a light jacket)

• 1994 A jury in Manassas, Va., acquitted Lorena Bobbitt by reason of temporary insanity of maliciously wounding her husband (I have almost 35 years invested in ministry and it's just not worth it .. reluctantly .. no comment)

• 2010 RevKev had writer's block and decided to post "This Day in History" facts (pretty sneaky, huh?)

"It shall also come to pass, that at the same time shall things come into thy mind, and thou shalt think an evil thought" - Ezekiel 38:10

Kev's Klip of the Week

Today's clip continues .. what has become .. the theme for the week ...

Scratching.

These kids can really kick it!

"All your life you will struggle to scratch a living from it." - Genesis 3:17b

The Seven Year Itch?

Well, I received a diagnosis from Dr. Murphy yesterday and yes .. once again .. I am allergic to penicillin (I asked for a second opinion .. he said I was ugly, too).

I say "once again" because one time when I was a kid it made me really dizzy.

Because of this, I used other alternatives (burying chicken bones under the front steps in a brown paper sack during a full moon does not work .. promise) for a good while.

Within the last ten years, when penicillin seemed to be the best route to go .. there's this really tricky curve on the way to the stomach .. I was put back on the antibiotic with no side effects whatsoever ...

Until three days ago when I developed this terrible rash .. as Jonathan Winters would say, "all over my body" (I've confirmed this .. with a mirror).

Now, I am on a "z-pack."

Hopefully, it will get the job done and get me back on the road to good health with no new side effects.

Wait. Is that place in the middle my forehead the start of what looks like a third eye?

Where's the phone book?

"And if it spread much abroad in the skin, then the priest shall pronounce him unclean: it is a plague."

- Leviticus 13:22

A Little Rash, Don't You Think?

Dry skin? .. Different washing detergent? .. New medicine?

None of the above??

I don't know what has caused it, but for the last few days I have experienced a terrible rash (I tell it all on this blog .. Happy?) on my legs, back, stomach, and perhaps other places I don't normally see .. thank goodness.

It is quite uncomfortable for me (my guess is .. the same is true for you at this moment) and I am in need of some relief asap.

All the itching and scratching of late .. and early, for that matter .. reminded me of an old Allan Sherman parody of "That Old Black Magic" from an album we had when I was a kid.

Ladies and Gentlemen .. "That Old Back Scratcher."

That old back scratcher has me in its spell,

That old back scratcher like the Chinese sell.

Your plastic fingers up and down my spine,

The same old itchcraft when your touch meets mine.

You tame that tingle when I'm all alone;

For I am single, so, to itch his own.

So down and down you go,

Around and around and around you go;

Scratching my unreachable zone.

I should throw you away,

But I never do;

I must give in .. to itchy skin.

A skin with such a burning desire;

When I'm scratching low,

The itching gets higher.

Oh, you're the scrubber that placated me,

That chased each place that irritated me;

And then, last night, you broke my heart.

Because I sat down on you,

Two hundred pounds on you,

Then, snap, crack,

Everything just went black

My wonderful old back scratcher fell apart.

Yes, you broke in half,

And now you're too short;

I tried Scotch tape .. as a last resort.

But with Scotch tape it wasn't the same;

The thrill that was wild is suddenly tame.

But, Old Man Sorrow will not get me down;

I leave tomorrow night for Chinatown.

For I must follow Heaven's plan:

Around and around I'll go,

Through Chinatown I'll go,

Hoping to find another one just like you,

An old Chinese back scratcher made in Japan!

"my skin is broken, and become loathsome." - Job 7:5b

RevKev's Day Off

I hope you enjoy this photo (yeah, I know .. it was on here last week). This is what you are going to see every Sunday from now on.

"I already gave you a warning when I was with you the second time. I now repeat it .." - II Corinthians 13:2a

Big Sale at Sears .. Pants Half Off

It is not Wednesday (the normal .. make that .. regular day for Kev's Klip of the Week), but I can't wait until then to post this gem.

American Idol junkies already know about this.

Others may have heard about it.

Now, it is time for everyone who follows this blog to experience ... General Larry Platt.

Ladies and Gentlemen .. for your enjoyment??? ... "Pants on the Ground."

"... and they fell before him on the ground."

- Genesis 44:14b

Shower the Papal You Love with Love

Yesterday, I referred to Brentwood as "The Vatican" and my readers who are of the Baptist persuasion were more inclined to get the joke (the Tennessee Baptist Convention offices are located there).

Imagine my surprise .. and delight .. when we finished off the evening with a meal in the "pope room" at Bucca di Beppo on Galleria Boulevard in Franklin.

This room .. complete with mini-Sistine Chapel .. included "papal photos" and other "pope paraphernalia" that made you feel just like you were in Rome .. Rome, Georgia (I think they have one of these restaurants there).

A nice finishing touch was a bust of none other than "His Holiness" in the center of a lazy susan turntable (everything was served family style, so it was the most practical way to pass around the salad and breadsticks) .. now that's classy.

This was one of those occasions when it was obvious who was most qualified to bless the food.

Since our own Executive Director is retiring in August, I'd like to suggest we "honor" him in a similar fashion.

Is anyone good at woodcarving?

"And I--in righteousness I will see your face; when I awake, I will be satisfied with seeing your likeness."

- Psalm 17:15

An Officer and a Gentleman

Okay, that "gentleman" part may be a little questionable (fine .. pure fantasy). However, I am one of the officers of the Tennessee Mens Chorale and we are having an all day meeting .. no dinner on the ground .. at the Vatican (Brentwood) today.

It will be frustrating for me because I've lost my voice.

This means one of the other guys will have to "step up" and make those sarcastic remarks in my place.

Lane Kiffin jokes just aren't as funny when you have to write them on a legal pad.

Gotta go!

"Take heed that thou speak not .." - Genesis 31:24b

Kev's Klip of the Week

"And on a cold night, two under the same blanket can gain warmth from each other. But how can one be warm alone?" - Ecclesiastes 4:11a

To Breathe or Not to Breathe...

That is the question.

The answer?

"Pat, I'd like to solve the puzzle ... it's NOT to breathe."

Well, even though I was nowhere near Seattle .. I had another sleepless night.

I kept playing that little game .. Where, Oh Where, Is the Air.

Perhaps you are familiar with it.

You start out lying flat on your back. Next, you take a deep breath to determine which nostril has the most airflow.

Since there was about a 20% "intake" through my left nostril and only about 5% through my right (these are only rough estimates and should not be used for scientific evaluation), this meant I would roll over on my left side to begin my "quest for rest."

Eventually, the flow of air will increase in the right nostril .. of course, it's at the expense of the left "blow hole" .. and you must now roll over on your right side.

This continues for several sleepless hours until there is no place to go but up.

So, you get up.

Where, Oh Where, Is the Air.

As far as games go .. not really all that fun.

"Stop trusting in man, who has but a breath in his nostrils." - Isaiah 2:22a