Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Jack Frost Changes Name to Jack Froze


The temperature is currently 15° degrees.

It's so cold ...
  • Hitchhikers are holding up pictures of thumbs
  • The rats are bribing alley cats to snuggle
  • Starbucks is serving coffee on a stick
  • When the farmers milk their cows they get ice cream
  • Richard Simmons has started wearing pants
  • We're not going to clean the house - we'll just defrost it
  • Down at the morgue you can't tell the stiffs from the guys who work there
  • Instead of local anesthesia - Dr. Ben asks his patients to stick their head outside
  • You don't have to trim your mustache - when the hair gets too long, you just break it off
  • Boy Scouts are offering to de-ice little old ladies
  • The flashers run up to their victims and describe themselves
  • We had to salt the hallway
  • When I turned on the shower this morning - I got hail
  • We put a frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes and got - frozen pizza
  • Spanish dancers don't need castanets - they just use their chattering teeth
  • Kids are telling outrageous lies - hoping their pants will catch on fire
  • Politicians are putting their hands in their own pockets
"By the breath of God ice is given, And the broad waters are frozen" - Job 37:10

1 comment:

TWI said...

perfection! :)