Today is April 13.
On this date in 1796 the first elephant ever seen in the United States arrived from India (okay, Handel's Messiah also premiered in Dublin, Ireland .. but there are only a handful of oratorio 'funnies' .. there are tons of elephant jokes).
Like ...
What's red and white on the outside and gray on the inside?
Campbell's Cream of Elephant Soup
What weighs 5000 pounds and wears glass slippers?
Cinderelephant
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To squash the chicken on the other side
If you took away an elephant's trunk how would it smell?
Still pretty bad
How do you make instant elephant?
Open the package, add water and .. run
What's large and gray and goes around and around in circles?
An elephant stuck in a revolving door
What has six legs, three ears, four tusks and two trunks?
An elephant with spare parts
What did the cat say to the elephant?
Meow
What did the apple say to the elephant?
Nothing. Apples can't talk
What should you do with a green elephant?
Wait until it is ripe
What should you do with a red elephant?
Quit telling it dirty jokes
Who is the most famous male singing elephant?
Harry Elephante
Who is the most famous female singing elephant?
Elephants Gerald
And finally ...
What's the difference between an elephant and a plum?
Their color
What did Tarzan say to Jane when he saw the elephants coming?
Here come the elephants
What did Jane say to Tarzan when she saw the elephants coming?
Here come the plums .. she was color blind
Did I mention I heard most of these jokes when I was like .. in the third grade?
".. unmindful that a foot may crush them, that some wild animal may trample them." - Job 39:15
1 comment:
Now I have, "That's Why God Made the Moon", in my head. No, wait, that was John Elefante...
Post a Comment