New Year's Eve

Today is special in at least four ways:

• There will be a Blue Moon (once in a blue moon we have a .. blue moon. Tonight is the night for that phenomenon .. I suppose it will see me standing there, without a dream in my heart, without a love of my own .. Blue Moon)
• It is the last day of 2009 (a reminder that I was not able to keep even one of the new year's resolutions I made on January 1 .. In 2010 my only resolution will be 1680 x 1050, 60 Hz .. I'll explain it later, mom)
• It is the last day of the decade (remember Y2K? .. I do .. I still have 50 gallons of water, two chain saws, a generator, firearms and enough ammunition to hold off looters for a week)
• It is my parents' wedding anniversary (Happy Anniversary, Budgie and Peg!! .. sorry this is all you get .. there's no card or gift .. however, Dick Clark has a rather large televised celebration in your honor tonight .. too bad you'll already be in bed .. I'll DVR it for you)

2009 had its share of UPs (way to go Pixar .. another great CG film) and DOWNs (Hugh is 88 years young). However, all in all ...

It was a very good year.

As we ring out the old and ring in the new, may we be keenly aware of God's presence and ask for His divine guidance as we face the challenges of a new year and decade.

Guide me, O Thou Great Jehovah.

"For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name's sake lead me, and guide me." - Psalm 31:3

Kev's Klip of the Week

One of my all-time favorite television shows has to be .. "Malcolm in the Middle."

It never failed to make me laugh.

The show left the air in 2006 and I miss it.

Enjoy!

"Wherefore my fury and mine anger was poured forth."

- Jeremiah 44:6a

Goodbye Kitties .. and Kids

Megan and Will (and our grandcats, Jack and Dewey) are leaving today to return to North Carolina. At least that was their plan when they went to bed last night (actually, it was more like this morning .. sometime after midnight .. I didn't wait up to check the time).

Last year their plans were thwarted (that's a funny sounding word) when they encountered multiple issues with their car. The issues were resolved (we had an intervention .. at King Tire in Humboldt), but they weren't able to leave until the next day (translated: it would have been a very late start and dad .. that's me .. insisted they wait).

I don't think that is going to be the case this go around .. but you never know.

The holidays are bittersweet around the Hamilton house.

I love having my kids home (Drew was only here Christmas Eve and Christmas Day .. too short a visit in my book .. hey, you take what you can get) and cherish every moment they are here (with the possible exception of the wee hours in the morning when Dewey decides it is time to play with a bottle cap).

However, it makes me "sad in my heart" (my favorite saying from Ms Cathy M) when it's time for them to say goodbye.

So, here I sit .. waiting for someone else in this house to rise and shine. I just want to know if today really is the day they'll be leaving.

Where's my screwdriver and hammer?

I think there's a little "work" to be done on the car ...

"And when the man rose up to depart, his father in law urged him: therefore he lodged there again."

- Judges 19:7

My Own Little Adventureland

For the past few years I have taken off the last two weeks in the month of December to finish up my vacation time.

Since during those two weeks the office is already closed for three days (Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and New Year's Day), it is not the smartest thing I could do. However, it is certainly "dead time" in the music area at church .. all the Christmas music has been completed (if all goes as planned) and it's next to impossible trying to rehearse during the holidays (special practice on December 23 .. be there!!), so ...

If you can't beat em .. and trust me on this .. you can't (DHS can be a real pain) .. join em.

Of course, this is more staycation than vacation since I usually just hang around the house looking for little odd jobs and home projects I have no intention of completing.

I do make a few quick trips during those two weeks (bathroom, pantry, refrigerator), but it's not like going to DisneyWorld (unless I can get Cheryl to dress in an international costume and sing "It's a Small World, After All" continuously .. yeah .. right).

It is what it is .. some much needed "down time" before 2010 hits me right between the eyes.

Gotta go. I've been drinking too much coffee.

Next stop .. Splash Mountain.

"And he saw that rest was good, and the land that it was pleasant." - Genesis 49:15a

More Cowbell .. NOT

I have taken a vow of silence .. for the day (it's a Sunday tradition on the blog).

Come back tomorrow. Perhaps, then I'll have something to say concerning this matter.

That post promises to be .. enCHANTing.

"... that you also aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business." - I Thessalonians 4:11a

The Twelve Days AFTER Christmas

The first day after Christmas

My true love and I had a fight

And so I chopped the pear tree down

And burnt it, just for spite

Then with a single cartridge

I shot that blasted partridge

My true love, my true love,

my true love gave to me.

The second day after Christmas

I pulled on the old rubber gloves

And very gently wrung the necks

Of both the turtle doves

My true love, my true love,

my true love gave to me.

On the third day after Christmas

My mother caught the croup

I had to use the three French hens

To make some chicken soup

The four calling birds were a big mistake

For their language was obscene

The five golden rings were completely fake

and turned my fingers green.

The sixth day after Christmas

The six laying geese wouldn't lay

So I sent the whole darn gaggle to the

A.S.P.C.A.

On the seventh day, what a mess I found

The seven swans-a-swimming all had drowned

My true love, my true love,

my true love gave to me.

The eighth day after Christmas

Before they could suspect

I bundled up the

Eight maids-a-milking

Nine ladies dancing

Ten lords-a-leaping

Eleven pipers piping

Twelve drummers drumming - well, actually I kept one of the dancing ladies -

And sent them back collect

I wrote my true love

"We are through, love!"

And I said in so many words

"Furthermore your Christmas gifts were for the Birds!"

"... and the birds shall eat thy flesh from off thee."

- Genesis 40:19b

Jesus, Lord at Thy Birth

"For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord." - Luke 2:11

It's Christmas Eve

No time for blogging today.

I am doing everything in my power to get off the "naughty" list and that is going to consume every spare moment.

It is no secret .. I have been trying to get on the "nice" list (without success, I might add) for over fifty Christmases. However, for some reason I have a good feeling about this year.

So ...

No practical jokes at the expense of others.

No quick comebacks that cut at the knees.

No yelling at all those incompetent idiot drivers .. from the comfort of my own vehicle.

No heavy sighing and rolling of the eyes while they are waiting for a price check on an item .. that is approximately $2, tops .. for the lady in front of me at Walmart.

Who am I kidding?

I'm getting another lump of coal this Christmas .. no doubt, whatsoever.

"Be ye also patient; stablish your hearts: for the coming of the Lord draweth nigh." - James 5:8

Kev's Klip of the Week

" ...and a little child shall lead them." - Isaiah 11:6b

Bah! Stomach Bug!

I'm not sure if it was an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of underdone potato or something else entirely. However, I do know the "chills" and "thrills" of a stomach virus are no laughing matter.

Cheryl went through the very same thing recently and she was weak for .. a week.

It appears .. knock on wood .. my ailment was more of the 36 to 48 hour variety and I actually feel like eating something substantial (man can not live on POWERADE and bananas alone) this morning.

There are lots of things I have tried to pass on to my children.

This is not one of them.

Hopefully, my daughter and son-in-law who arrived Sunday night (it was at the lowest point and I had already started saying my 'goodbyes' to family and friends .. ♪♫ I'm moving on up .. to the Eastside♪♫) will escape, unscathed from this dreaded affliction.

When Scrooge encountered the Ghost of Christmas Future, he exclaimed, "I fear you more than any spectre I have seen" ... "I am prepared to bear your company."

I can honestly say there are some things in life far more frightening than being visited by your dead partner and three other ghosts (that's a cakewalk) and nothing can adequately prepare you for it (although Phenergan does help with the nausea).

Being haunted by the stomach flu .. now that's scary.

"My bowels boiled, and rested not." - Job 30:27a

Sick as a Dog

I'm at home with a stomach virus that started yesterday after the morning worship service.

I'd love to stay and chat a while .. but that's not gonna happen.

My life is an open book, but I'll spare you this particular chapter.

"And, behold, they brought to him a man sick ..."

- Matthew 9:2a

Silent Sunday

No post on Sundays.

Sorry, I don't make the rules .. wait .. yes I do.

Still .. sorry.

" ... take heed, and be quiet ..." - Isaiah 7:4a

Ice Ice Baby .. Be Careful

The people in East Tennessee (and those 'just passing through' .. traveling for the holidays) are bracing themselves for the possibility of five to eight inches of snow by tonight. This is in addition to the four inches or so that has already fallen in some areas.

That's right.

The National Weather Service has issued a winter storm warning until 7 PM tonight (Eastern Standard Time), so if you are in the Great Smokey Mountains and wanting to go skiing .. this is your lucky day.

Here in the western part of the state, we should see "flurries" and "blizzards." .. only if we go to the nearest Sonic and Dairy Queen.

We just don't see much of the "white, powdery stuff" around Humboldt and the surrounding area (I suppose those in law enforcement would disagree with me on that).

It seems that nine times out of ten .. when it does snow around here .. it always misses Humboldt.

Invariably, when bad weather comes our way, it will change courses at the River and either go north (Dyersberg, Union City) or south (name the small town of your choice in Mississippi) of Humboldt .. I believe it's because we are in a valley.

This is perfectly fine in the case of tornadoes or ice storms.

It's not so fine when you just "need a little Christmas."

Since Megan and Will are starting out today and heading this way from North Carolina, I will be keeping a careful eye on the weather conditions and "holding my breath" until they get here on Sunday (of course that is only a figure of speech .. if I really held my breath that long, it would be .. fatal .. and completely defeat the purpose of getting to see them .. Christmas would be a bummer .. etc.).

I thought worrying about your kids was supposed to stop when they grew up and left home.

What was I thinking?

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." - Matthew 6:34

Assorted Fruits and Nuts

Tonight is our annual Christmas party (with the exception of last year .. I'm not sure what happened) for the office staff of First Baptist Church in Humboldt.

You've all heard "horror stories" I'm sure about end of the year parties that got out of hand resulting in regret .. and shame.

Don't worry.

This will not be one of those .. at least the "shame" part (I can't speak to the 'regret' aspect at this time .. check back in the morning).

I'm not sure if you can technically use the term "party" with a group of Baptist church office personnel.

There'll be no drinking (Dr. Pepper is considered the 'hard stuff' at this gathering), smoking (unless someone smokes a turkey .. unlikely .. it's too much trouble trying to roll one of those things), cussing (bad language is frowned upon .. so bite your tongue, Pamela) or dancing (a dancing foot and a praying knee don't belong on the same leg).

We will simply be ordering pizza and sitting around enjoying one another's company.

I give it forty five minutes .. tops.

"Gather yourselves together ..." - Genesis 49:2a

The Christmas Rush Continues

I am doing my little "dog and pony show" (as Frank C calls it) today at lunchtime and (once again) it is for a group of senior adults in Memphis (seems like I just did that on Tuesday??).

This "gig" is at Whitten Memorial Baptist Church where I served (no, I wasn't a waiter .. music minister) before coming to Humboldt in 1999.

Last Saturday, I got to see several of my former choir members (they weren't really mine, I suppose .. but I am somewhat possessive) from the church when they came over to lend a hand (actually .. a voice) with our musical, ONLY LOVE.

Today, I will renew old acquaintances (they are senior citizens, you know) with a few more when I speak to the Keenagers (I just love these group names .. it was the XYZ Club on Tuesday .. the Keenagers today .. what's next? .. the Over-the-Hill Gang??) at 11:30.

It seems like most of the speaking invitations I have gotten of late have been from senior groups.

I'm not sure if this indicates I am getting older and only relate to the elderly, or if the word has spread that I don't charge a set fee (you should see their little eyes light up when they hear this .. the ones that can still hear).

Whatever the reason, keep an eye out (or should that be .. take your teeth out??).

The RevKev Geriatric Comedy Tour is coming to a city near you.

"Cast me not off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength faileth." - Psalm 71:9

Kev's Klip of the Week

SNOWBALL FIGHT!!

"Will a man leave the snow ..." - Jeremiah 18:14

Insanity Clause

Call me crazy, but I'm speaking again today .. yes, it's to another group of senior adults (the XYZ Club) .. at Ellendale Baptist Church in Bartlett.

Since they invite me back every year (today could easily put a stop to that foolishness) I suppose technically you should call them crazy.

The challenge of "return engagements" is finding new and fresh material so the audience doesn't have to hear the "same old .. same old."

It ain't happin' this time.

I've done everything that can possibly be done .. jokes, skits, music, reading entries from my blog ... You name it. I've done it.

So, in honor of the holiday season .. I will recycle my jokes and (hopefully) the crowd will "repeat the sounding joy" (as opposed to just 'repeating' .. maybe there won't be any white beans or sweet potatoes).

Since rerunning old movies (The Bells of Saint Mary's, White Christmas, Holiday Inn) and television specials (A Charlie Brown Christmas, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer) is the norm this time of year, perhaps I can start my own Christmas tradition of performing the same exact comedy routine.

Of course, with senior adults you can tell the same story over and over again and (if they have a good sense of humor) they will still laugh.

That's because they can't remember it from the last time .. thank goodness.

"Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old." - Isaiah 43:18

Time for Some Christmas Shopping

Today is the day .. actually, that should read .. today is THE day.

Yes, traditionally I don't start Christmas shopping until after I have completed all my December music programs at church.

For some reason I just can't concentrate on shopping until the music is .. stopping (I must learn to multitask .. having a 'one track' mind with an 'eight track' lifestyle is not working for me).

The second and final presentation of ONLY LOVE took place last night at FBC (great job everyone .. you done good .. I seen you when you done it!!). This means I am now officially in the market (okay, I'm not really 'in the market' .. I'm at home) for the perfect gift for family and friends (yes, that's right .. everyone on my list has to share that one gift).

Of course, Cheryl buys the majority of the presents (translated: if she waits on me .. Christmas might not come until January .. or .. at all), but I do have a few purchases to make.

So ... can someone point me toward the mall? I can't quite remember how to get there .. it has been a year since my last trip, you know.

"A man's gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men." - Proverbs 18:16

Ya'll Come Back Now

Yes, please come back ... tomorrow.

This is a "no posting zone" on Sundays.

"After this I will return." - Acts 15:16a

It's Christmastime in the City

Too busy .. okay, make that too nervous .. to post today (rehearsal with choir and instrumentalists @ 3:30 and I have tons to do beforehand).

So, here's a little something to help get you in the Christmas spirit (you could just go to Wal-Mart .. but that might backfire).

I'm sure most of you have seen this (it has been around a while .. of course, so have most of my readers), but 'tis the season for reruns (no .. not Fred Berry).

Tonight and tomorrow night (December 12 and 13), FBC Humboldt .. along with "everybody and his brother" .. will present our Christmas music, ONLY LOVE @ 6 o'clock (for my slow readers .. it's just called ONLY LOVE .. the @ 6 o'clock part refers to the starting time .. it had to be said).

A word of warning .. if you come, don't sit too close to me.

I have a nervous stomach and can't be held responsible for all the "sights and sounds" of Christmas.

"The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh, and whither it goeth." - John 3:8a

The Cane Mutiny

Although it was bitter cold outside, we had a pretty good attendance for the final YY (Youth of Yesterday) meeting of 2009 last evening at First Baptist Church.

The program featured our SonShiners Choir (it was their third performance since last Sunday .. there's no business like show business) and, judging from the response, the crowd loved them (of course a good number of the SonShiners are also members of the YYs .. so technically they could sing and then clap for themselves .. that's what you call instant gratification).

At the conclusion of last night's program, the YYs presented me with a sweet card and some "cold cash" (someone must have left it in their car) as a token of their appreciation for all I had done for them this past year (how embarrassing .. the officers and committees keep this organization functioning like a well-oiled machine .. I just show up for the meetings .. however, I still kept the money).

I know I joke a lot about working with those "old people" at the church. However, I'd "take a bullet" (okay, that's a little extreme .. I'd deflect a paper wad in a heartbeat) for any one of them.

I may take a few "pokes" and "jabs" at these "oldies, but goodies" .. however, don't YOU dare try it (I'll borrow one of their walking sticks and poke and jab anyone who does).

Nobody badmouths MY senior adults .. but me.

"Thus saith the LORD of hosts; There shall yet old men and old women dwell in the streets of Jerusalem, and every man with his staff in his hand for very age."

- Zechariah 8:4

West Tennessee Elf Care

Humboldt General Hospital has a Christmas luncheon/party/variety show each year for their medical staff/employees/volunteers and that event takes place today.

I am scheduled to be on the program .. which includes songs, skits, readings, etc. .. and do "whatever I want" (do they really know who they're dealing with here?) for fifteen minutes .. 12:15 to 12:30.

This is not my first rodeo .. perhaps that should be "this is not my first colonoscopy."

In fact, it is my third appearance (I'm still trying to meet my deductible) at this annual event.

There is a saying we have in the "biz" about most evangelists.

Every church needs to have (insert name of evangelist) for revival .. no church needs to have (insert name of evangelist) a second time.

This holds true for comedians, as well.

I have a "set" routine I have used for years (like .. thirty years). It's "tried and true" and .. for the most part .. a crowd pleaser. All I have to do is update the jokes just a little (example: one of my stories involves a child asking Santa for a Blu-ray player .. two years ago it was a DVD player .. before that, a VCR .. before that, a Laser Disc).

When I started getting re-invites, I came up with a whole new routine I could use for those return engagements (I'm not that great .. but I don't have a set fee .. this opens many doors for me).

I know they say "three's a charm" .. they also say "three's a crowd" .. although I thought Three's Company????

My guess is after I have my "fifteen minutes of fame" today, there'll be no invitation to return next year.

At least if they throw things .. I'll already be at the hospital.

"For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the LORD." -Jeremiah 30:17a