When I graduated from high school (miracles are not exclusive to 'Bible times') in 1975, I weighed 135 lbs (I'm pretty sure I was the inspiration for the song, Skinny Boy by Chicago) and I could eat whatever I wanted .. whenever I wanted.
Things have changed.
Oh, I'm only twenty pounds heavier than I was then (I've gained less than a half pound per year over the past 34 years .. not bad), but those twenty pounds are distributed differently than they were "back in the day."
Yes, I, as so many other middle-aged (is 52 really middle-age?? .. how many 104 year olds do you see walking around out there?) Americans, suffer from "Furniture Syndrome" (my chest has started to slide into my drawers) or, as it is also known, "Dunlap Disease" (my belly has done-lapped over my belt).
This is somewhat disturbing to a guy who used to eat a whole bag of Oreos .. at one sitting .. with two or three glasses of milk (whole milk .. the kind you can chew .. not that 1% swill Cheryl buys) and not gain an ounce.
I now have to take cholesterol medicine and a blood pressure pill on a daily basis (if I remember .. another problem with getting older).
This makes me, as Miss Cathy used to say, "very sad in my heart" (which, as far as I know, is still okay .. as of this writing).
All this talk about food plus that photo of the french fries (porn for us overeaters) is making me hungry.
Get thee behind me, Satan .. and tell me if I look fat.
".. and ye shall eat the fat of the land." - Genesis 45:18b
4 comments:
If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows.. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows..
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer..
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on 'START'...............
Thought you'd like this.
-Susan Gall
I think someone else needs a blog. Made me smile. Thanks, Susan!
Just remember the words of Leviticus 3:16b: "All the fat is the Lord's."
:)
It makes me "happy in my heart" that you think you are even the least bit fat. God is good.
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