Baby New Year/Father Time

Today two very special people have birthdays.

My great nephew, Xander Johnsey is one year old and my neighbor and good friend (prior to this post), John Hale is .. not .. not even close (cut him in half and there would be too many rings to count).

These guys are very different.

One can only eat soft foods, takes naps during the day, and (though potty trained) sometimes soils himself.

The other lives in McKenzie with his parents.

There will be a little "get together" today at 2 o'clock to celebrate Xander's birthday .. nothing fancy, just cake and ice cream.

I may invite John. He loves ice cream .. plus it's easy to chew.

"Trust, Try and Prove Me" Alternative

Greg just preached a series of messages on stewardship. This would have made a great "special music" .. I'm thinking Greg Scott, Russ Stanphill and Jim Laughlin??

Peace out, brotha'.

A Little Behind

Yesterday's "snow storm" caused us to call off all Wednesday night activities (we had to make the decision early .. by church time the roads around here were fine) and, like the employee who backed in to the meat grinder at Dairy Queen .. I've gotten a little behind in my work.

I went to the office after yesterday's 7 o'clock men's prayer group meeting (they closed the Humboldt Grill behind us) and realized the support staff were not coming in. Since there was no one to answer the telephones (translated: Greg and I didn't want to) I opted to work from home.

Working behind a desk in your underwear is inappropriate at the church (trust me on this .. how many times do I have to apologize??) but, in the privacy of your own home .. no one knows, minds or is likely to report you to the local authorities (again .. sorry .. it was a bad judgement call).

This morning I will be completing Sunday's order of worship (does anyone really like taking orders?) and getting it ready to be printed. It is, also, my "hospital day" and I have a rehearsal to attend at Union University this evening.

January has been a busy month.

February is going to be even busier with another SonShiners program, a YY meeting and additional day trip, singing in a mass (ite missa est) choir at the Civic Center, and four or five outside (weather permitting) speaking engagements.

Has anyone checked today's forecast?

Who Let the Schools Out?

Humboldt City Schools (along with a gazillion others .. city and county) are out today due to inclement weather here in West Tennessee.

For the most part, we "dodged a bullet" and didn't get all the ice the "experts" were predicting (using their extremely sophisticated equipment .. rock, paper, scissors) during the night. However, the day is young and only God knows (and I do mean that literally) what is ahead.

All I know for sure is: my wife has one less day of Spring break (they don't have any snow days built in to this year's school calendar) and Wednesday night rehearsal is dead in the water (even if the sun comes out and global warming kicks in .. everyone will stay home .. except for those over the age of 70 who come every time the doors are open .. and a few times when they are not).

This does not give me great pleasure (actually, nothing does .. always the pessimist, only doom and gloom makes me .. happy).

Last Wednesday evening, the choir missed our regularly scheduled rehearsal to sing for a one night "revival" service with Bob Reccord (who, FOR the record, was 'snowed in' and didn't make it).

We did get a great sub (cold cut combo, if I recall correctly) and the service went on as planned .. knocking me out of precious practice time.

It appears the weather has gotten the best of me, once again.

Rain, snow, sleet .. hail, I can't win.

A Bird in the Hand Is Worth Two in the Mouth

Every year Antioch Baptist Church in Humboldt has a "Men's Quail Supper" and because of my love for the great outdoors (I stepped in some manure, once) I get an invitation to attend.

This year's "guy gathering" took place last night and the food and fellowship were second to none.

Ken Luckey (the birds were not quite as) and crew did a great job feeding the five thousand (it seemed like that many .. I was at the end of the line) and no one went away hungry.

During the exodus of the children of Israel, the people didn't much like the menu God was providing (manna in the morning .. manna in the evening .. manna at suppertime) for them. They wanted meat, so .. He gave them quail to eat .. tons of quail to eat. In fact, they ate so much of this "blessed bird," scripture says it was "coming out of their noses."

Well, I had my fair share last night, but not to the point of quail actually coming out of the old "snozzola."

I've been congested lately and my nose is all "stopped up."

This is probably a good thing .. especially, for those who sat across from me.

Senior Citizen Conga Line .. Use Caution

Today at 1:45 (PM not AM .. I'm usually up at both) our SonShiners choir will be singing at the Humboldt Nursing Home. This is a ministry opportunity for us: going outside the walls of First Baptist Church to share the gift of music.

Since the members of the choir are all 55 and over (most WAY over), I have to be careful not to leave any "stragglers" behind (they all look alike .. you know).

When our children sing, this is not a problem. However, when you have a choir of senior adults singing for an audience of senior adults, things could get a little tricky.

Just to be safe, I am going to put a "smiley face" sticker on everyone when they get off the bus, so they don't end up having an unplanned "sleep over."

Sometimes the boys and girls from the DayCare hold on to a long rope when they go down the hall toward the gym. As an additional precautionary measure, I may borrow their rope and do the same with our group (I just hope no one has to make a bathroom stop).

During a portion of the program, I am going to have the nursing home residents sing along on a couple of familiar hymns. If I find some really good voices in the bunch, I may try to "swap" them for a few of my "pitch oblivious" singers.

Maybe no one will notice.

Back .. and Badder than Ever

We finished recording last night a little after ten o'clock (actually, there was one song we didn't get to .. so much to do .. so little time) and I was pretty much wiped out (my brain is way too fried to go for some type of gross potty joke .. maybe next time).

It's always good being out with "the boys" and sinning (that should be 'singing') with the chorale is one of the great joys of my life (I don't get out much, you know).

I look forward to the upcoming CD, though I'm not sure how much time is involved in "post production" (a recording term .. not a reference to the process of actually making posts .. though in today's economy, I might need a new vocation if the music ministry falls on hard times).

When the CDs are complete, you will be the first to know. We're practically family.

Okay, who left their dirty socks in the middle of the floor.

Were you raised in a barn?

Still in the Studio

Went to bed at 2 AM. Practicing/recording all day (at least 9 PM). That's all folks!

Once More from the Top

The Tennessee Mens Chorale will be in the studio (which is the choir loft at First Baptist, Nashville) recording a new CD with the Tennessee Ladies Chorus today. Since I am a part of this group (the men .. though I am fairly 'in touch' with my feminine side), I have to make today's post brief and head on out toward "Music City" (Nashville .. not the huge discount band instrument retailer .. our prices are INSANE).

As of Monday, there were 75 TLC members (that's a lot of estrogen!) and 91 TMC singers (with 91 different opinions .. each one absolutely correct .. on how our director should be interpreting the music) registered to participate.

The icing on the cake (Weight Watchers friendly and only 3 points per slice) will be singing some of the pieces with the Nashville Praise Symphony, directed by Camp Kirkland.

I am excited, even though I am already very familiar with the music industry. In fact, I am under contract with Columbia House Records.

I get 20 CDs or tapes for only $1.99.

Wii, Wii, Wii .. All the Way Home

Our Minister to Students, Russ .. or "Hatman" as he is now called .. is a big Xbox guy. He loves playing video games and, evidently, this makes him cool and appealing to our youth.

Back in my day, I was groovy and far out .. can you dig it?

I had an Atari 2600 and I was really bad (in the late 70s and early 80s that meant good .. or it could just mean .. bad .. I'm not elaborating) at Pitfall and Frogger .. now THAT was some hardcore gaming.

Since I'm over 50, this is more my speed ...

The level of difficulty is only slightly harder than "Sit Your Tail in the Recliner" .. my current exercise of choice.

No Thanks .. I Gave at the Office

Lifeline Blood Services had their "Bloodmobile" (it's kind of like an ice cream truck or 'Bookmobile' .. except children run from it .. not to it) at our church yesterday from 2:00 until 6:00 p.m. and I let them really "stick it to me" (most of the workers were formerly employed with the IRS, making them highly qualified to squeeze the blood out of this turnip).

My blood is O Positive (or, at least .. O '99% sure') and since this is a very popular type (it's comforting after hearing for years 'he's not my type' to know .. now, I am), I get calls every time these "blood suckers" are coming to town (Oh .. you better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why .. ).

I have been giving blood for quite a few years and it makes me feel good knowing I have truly helped someone in need .. plus you get snacks.

When I was in Memphis, the Bloodmobile would come to our church on Wednesday afternoons. They would park outside the gym area (we had our Wednesday night suppers there) and the people (church members) could give before or after they ate.

Once, I remember sitting around the table and talking to one of the children who had a multitude of questions about what went on inside "that big bus." When I told him I was about to go in and let them "drain the blood from my body," I could tell he was a little "spooked."

Could I just drop the subject and leave it alone? Nooo.

I went in, let them do their job, and then talked a worker in to letting me have two round band-aids .. which I put on my neck. I may have, also, given the child the impression that a guy in a black cape and fangs did the extracting.

At last report, this young man (now age 22) still sleeps with a light on and never uses public transportation.

I'm an evil man.

Giving blood, of course, is no laughing matter (like most entries here on the blog).

• The average heart surgery patient needs 6 units of blood
• After an organ transplant, 40 units of blood is needed.
• If you are in an automobile accident, the number of units averages out to be about 50.

I will be eligible to give again on March 16.

As long as there's a person who needs type O Positive .. or a child who hasn't been traumatized .. you can count on me.

And Then There's Mauve

While checking my email at 3 o'clock this morning (Allegra-D - for fast and sustained seasonal allergy congestion relief .. and guaranteed insomnia), I noticed a "Hot Color Tip" from overstock.com (who needs an interior designer? .. I'm taking all my advice from a website that also sells one of these click here .. Georgann, I know you probably already have one .. if not, Chloe would love it).

Yet I digress.

The 'Hot Color Tip" was: for a new look in your room, add a little mauve to the mix! This hip color will add to your decor, especially when paired with accents like turquoise .. etc.

Ah, mauve and turquoise .. I remember them well.

They were the "hot' colors we used to paint the fellowship hall at Lee Street Baptist Church in Valdosta, Georgia (1990 or 91 .. I believe). Unfortunately, by the time the project was completed, they were "out" and cinnamon (or some similar spice color) was "in."

We were so "1990s" before the second coat dried.

They say if you wait long enough, things will come back in style (I have two boxes .. one is full of 'Dick Van Dyke Show' one inch wide neckties .. the ties in the other box are wide enough to use as a lobster bib).

I'm still waiting for the peach colored tile in this old house to make a miraculous comeback .. or has it, already?

I'm checking my email.

There's Nothing to Do

According to the GoStats info (a web counter & traffic analysis site), my blog had 93 unique visitors (you are all unique to me .. and by unique I mean .. special .. and by special I mean .. let's just leave it at that) yesterday.

Since the weekly average is usually between 45 and 50, it appears this place is taking off like an airplane .. from US Airways.

That number is a little misleading.

It includes those who might have just stumbled upon this spot (if you do a search for 'complete waste of time,' I'm one of the top hits .. second only to any movie by Ed Wood) by mistake and are now in need of some type of therapy and/or a support group ('Hi, my name is ____ and I'm a kevoholic').

It, also, includes those who didn't want to get out in the bitter cold (11° degrees, here in West Tennessee).

My weekend (I count Friday night, Saturday and Sunday) numbers are lower than the 45 or 50 I mentioned before. Everyone likes to get out and about after a long work week and that means they are not sitting at home in front of the computer screen desperately looking for entertainment.

So, there you have it.

Close to a hundred visitors stopped in yesterday. It wasn't because of my wit, charm and writing ability. It was either: ① by mistake OR ② because they were cold and bored.

Hey, works for me .. I'm not too proud.

I'll take what I can get.

Friday Night SmackDown

There is nothing quite like the love between a brother and sister.

Here is an old clip of Drew and Megan doing what siblings do best (I thought my sister Terri and I got in to some pretty good fights .. no way .. we were mere amateurs compared to this 'WWF worthy' video).

Kind of reminds me of Cain and Abel .. if Meg had a cane I think she might be able to inflict some serious damage on Drew!

Little boys, stay out of your sister's room.

Things could get ugly.

I Just Needed to Vent

When I wrote yesterday's "weather report," here at the old blog, I thought I had reached a new low (with 40 mph winds, gusting out of the north) in subject matter.

Well .. I'm, evidently, a little out of touch with my readers.

I received more comments on the "Cold Weather" post than I did on any other single topic, to date (note to self: self, when running short of ideas .. play the weather card .. it's a winner).

Now, I have a slight problem.

Yesterday's flippant remark about "dryer lint" was done in jest (I was under pressure for a good closing line and that's all I had). After a bit of soul searching (looking deep inside myself .. not to be confused with sole searching .. checking shoes for gum), I'm thinking I should really "run with it."

A quick Google (or .. THE Google, as outgoing president, GWB calls it) of "dryer lint" yielded some interesting info.

Did you know there's a recipe for "Dryer Lint Clay?" There is.

Did you know you can use dryer lint as kindling? You can.

Did you know lint can be used instead of bubble wrap or packing peanuts as padding when sending items through the mail? You shouldn't (this one might freak out the recipient).

There is even a production entitled, LINT! The Musical.

Who knew lint could be so fascinating?

Whether you're modeling something (be careful .. the movement of rolling up the stuff in a tight little ball can cause an injury, similar to carpal tunnel.. it's commonly referred to as .. clay achin'), trying to start a campfire, sending off packages, or preparing that big musical "finish," I hope you have a better appreciation for this, often misunderstood, byproduct.

I know my eyes were opened.

In fact, I gave up an entire blog entry .. for lint.

Baby, It's Cold Outside

It's 20° degrees outside this morning and the heat hasn't kicked on yet (the thermostat is on a timer: 64° at night/68° in the morning .. starting at 5:30 am) here at "this old house."

I'm at the computer wearing a fleece-lined "hoody" jacket and a toboggan (the 'stocking cap' .. not the long, flat-bottomed light sled made usually of thin boards curved up at one end with usually low handrails at the side), waiting for the hot air to flow (insert joke of your choice, here).

It's going to be cold this week in West Tennessee, with temperatures dipping down in the teens the next few nights .. brrr!

Most people hate cold weather and can't wait for summer to get here.

Not me. I hate summer.

In the summer it's .. hot .. AND .. heat makes me sweat .. AND .. sweat reminds me of physical labor .. AND .. physical labor reminds me why I entered the ministry in the first place: to avoid the aforementioned, physical labor (it's kind of a 'circle of life' thing).

Granted, if I had to be out in the elements for extended periods of time, I would be more likely to long for warmer weather. However, since I'm not .. bring on the cold, baby.

There, I've done it .. an entire blog entry talking about the weather.

Riveting, wasn't it?

Tomorrow's topic is .. dryer lint: the good, the bad and the ugly.

I Like the Way You Think

I write, quite a bit, about my wife's love for sleeping in and her "abuse" of the snooze button on our alarm clock. It makes for an entertaining "read," and it's the absolute truth (as opposed to the out and out lies I often tell).

Well, she was up this morning before I got out of bed and she's working out, at this very moment, to an exercise DVD (the song, 'New Attitude' is ringing throughout the house .. Patti LaBelle is one of the most effective alarms I've ever heard .. trumped only, perhaps, by the voice of Gilbert Gottfried).

Cheryl has made a commitment to a "healthier her" (plus she likes to look 'fine' for her man) and getting up and moving (though, against the way she's .. wired) early in the morning is the best way to accomplish this.

When I had my dog, Shadow, I got up very early in the morning (well before daylight) to take him for a walk. Often, it was cold .. bitter cold. Many times, it was raining. A few times, there was snow. This didn't matter. It was part of the commitment of being a pet owner.

Blogging is tough.

When I started doing this back in May (has it really been that long?), little did I know .. let's just leave it at that: little did I know.

When someone writes in a diary, they are the only one who sees it (unless someone else sneaks into their room, slips it out from under the mattress, and reads the entries, before they get home from school.. Donnie Osmond? .. come on, Terri .. he has no substance .. just teeth and hair).

Writing a daily (except for Sundays, now) blog for the whole world (okay, the greater Humboldt area) to see, requires a deep level of commitment (often, I'm told I should have been committed a long time ago).

I don't take this task, lightly.

I know there are those who find this spot a "safe haven." A place where you can escape, if only for a few minutes, the toils and snares of "the daily grind."

I, willingly, accept this responsibility and have committed myself to being "Mr. Funnypants" for you, my loyal (pathetic: really need to get a life) readers.

It's my destiny and I will continue to fulfill it (until, I get bored .. then, you're on your own).

If You Brew It, They Will Come

Southern Baptists came out with a little promotional "catch phrase" several years ago. It was, "Church: The Sunday Night Place to Be." They came up with this motto/slogan/theme because .. church was not the Sunday night place to be (it was a distant fourth .. behind movies. mall and sitting at home in front of the 'hellevision' .. amen? .. amen).

Generally speaking, if you have to point out something with a declarative statement .. it's probably not true.

Pastor, if you instruct the church secretary to answer the office phone with, "Thank you for calling exciting First Baptist Church," you're not fooling anyone. Odds are .. your church is dead as a doornail.

Just because you say it, doesn't make it so.

Sunday nights at FBC Humboldt have been a challenge (I'm sure this is true in many or most of our churches). We put a lot of effort in our Sunday morning services and Sunday nights can be a little "let down" (no choir, fewer attenders, less energy).

Two weeks ago, we started meeting around the tables in our fellowship hall for the PM service. We are calling it "Sunday Evening Blend" (there's a variety of coffee.. served by our college students).

It's casual and .. it's catching on.

There is a wonderful element of fellowship sitting around the tables and I am seeing many faces I have never seen before on Sunday nights.

Coffee and Christians just seem to go hand in hand (sometimes it takes an artificial stimulant to get us going .. yes, coffee does get me 'going' .. I can testify to that). It, also, keeps everyone awake while Greg is speaking.

Coffee. It does the Body good.