The holidays are over (if you don't count New Year's Eve/Day .. which, I don't .. it's not for a teetotaler Baptist, like myself, who doesn't watch much football), but the leftovers remain.
If you were to look in my refrigerator right now, you would see mass quantities of food waiting for human consumption. Unfortunately, I'm the human (I am not an animal!) who .. consumps!
Ham, turkey, shrimp, green beans, potatoes (is that how you spell it, Dan Quayle?), etc., etc., etc. Then there's the desserts (too many to count) which have a tendency to "call my name" (I hear voices .. evil voices) late at night .. just before I go to bed.
This has consumed my thoughts (cookie, cookie .. me want cookie) and corrupted my thighs (I love that old gospel song, "He Looked Beyond My Thighs and Saw My Knees").
Things have really gotten bad.
I have been very proud of myself for not gaining that much weight since graduating from high school (yes, I did finish .. surprise). Well, .. I got some new jeans for Christmas and Saturday night I had to go exchange them for .. "big boy" jeans. Yes, I wear a husky size, now. I'm so ashamed!
All this talk about food and weight gain has made me depressed.
I think I need some ice cream to help cheer me up.
1 comment:
Hey Kevo, it's Biblical to eat dessert! After all, the Apostle Paul said, "I buffet my body..."
And a fan of yours at Whitten said,"Never trust a skinny preacher!"
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