Can I Be Frank with You?

VOTE EARLY!

Warm and Toasty

We have heat in the house! We have heat in the house!

It was great waking up this morning without frost on my head and an icicle on my nose (it's large enough without the extra attention brought by a large frozen water mass).

Do you know what it's like when your car "acts up" (notice how well versed I am in describing automotive abnormalities) while you are driving, but when you take it to the shop, the mechanic can't find anything wrong? That was the case with our heating unit.

When we finally got someone out here (thanks, Greg Scott for calling your dad), he flipped the switch and I flipped my lid because .. the heat came on.

I promise you we had turned the heat on and off a couple of times .. to no avail. However, when the professional gets here, he has the Midas touch. Evidently, there's a "three's a charm" protocol that helps keep the heating and air profession in business.

I felt like an idiot (even more so than usual). We have been freezing our .. we have been freezing our .. we have been freezing when we could have been enjoying a "cozy cottage."

I don't want Cheryl to know there was nothing wrong. She has been cold for a couple of weeks (actually, she has been cold a lot longer than that .. it seemed to start about the time this blog got off the ground .. hmm) and it wouldn't be good for her to find out she has been freezing for .. nothing.

I put a couple of pieces of pipe and some scrap sheet metal in the back yard by the heating unit to make her think they had to do some extensive work to get things running again.

With true love, sometimes you have to "bend the truth" a little to keep someone from getting hurt.

That's what I'm doing. If Cheryl finds out .. she's gonna kill me.

Cold As Ice

We are still without heat at the Hamilton house and it's pretty cold this morning here at the computer. I'm wearing a heavy bath robe and a wool scarf on my head in an attempt to stay warm and I now hold an uncanny resemblance to my Aunt Lizzie (if I pinned my house key to the inside of my shirt .. it would be down right eerie).

If it weren't for electric blankets and gas logs, we would be really in trouble during this cold snap (crackle, pop).

My nose is cold. My hands are cold. My feet are cold My .. my, my .. it's cold.

To make matters worse, I am having blood work done this morning and I can't have anything to eat or drink. No hot cocoa, coffee or oatmeal (I can't believe I am actually upset about missing out on oatmeal) to warm me up on the inside.

At least we still have hot water .. for now. So, I'm headed to the shower in an attempt to thaw out a little bit (I've seen Cheryl run hot water over frozen chicken breasts .. and it seems to work). Afterwards, it's off to my men's prayer group (7 o'clock) at the Humboldt Grill.

I hope they'll let me hang around the griddle.

It stays pretty hot, you know.

Seeing Is NOT Believing

Last night I had the privilege of attending the Upward Soccer Recognition Night at our church.

That program has really "scored" (pardon the pun) big with the community since its "kick off" (I repeat .. pardon the pun) a few years ago.

The "goals" (okay, this is just getting down right annoying) of the program are worthy:

• Every child plays
• Every child learns
• Every child is a winner

There is a strong spiritual emphasis with scripture memorization, prayer (we had over 100 prayer partners .. thanks, Ms Glenda), and devotionals for the parents/family/friends at the games. It's one of the better things our church offers for the boys and girls of our community (the best, of course, is children's choir) and I appreciate Jaclyn Scott for heading it up.

Ken Hartley, minister of music at Central Baptist Church of Hixson (Chattanooga), did a masterful job as an illusionist (ALL ministers of music need a "second skill" to help pay the bills .. an illusionist makes it appear you have more money than you actually do).

I've known Ken for years. In fact, I knew him when he was still Kenny (I think he had to change his name as part of a "relocation" program .. he had ties with organized crime .. however, they were very nice ties .. silk, I believe).

His dad (also, Ken .. or "Doc" as he was lovingly called) was the chairman of the department of music at Union when I was a student (the early 1920s) and he had a great influence on my life. I still miss him.

The tricks were top notch last night and Ken's presentation of the gospel was clear and to the point (we will go through the commitment cards today).

Glenna Hartley, Ken's mom (and one of my very favorite people in the world), was there and I know she was so proud. It is always a thrill seeing me .. and her son and grandson were also there.

All in all, a good night.

When I got home, I told Cheryl every detail of the evening. She said in a way, she felt like she was married to an illusionist (okay, she said I tricked her into marrying me) and suggested I drop "stand up comedy" and start working on magic.

Her exact words were, "I'm watching Dancing with the Stars. If you don't disappear, I'm going to saw you in half."

Cheryl has such a dry sense of humor. She said that with a straight face.

Hair Today. Gone Tomorrow.

Yesterday's post was "late and .. lame" (no offense, Russ. I had no intention of making you my main entry .. it just happened that way) and I feel like I need to apologize to my faithful reader(s).

Sometimes I get "writer's blog" and can't think of anything to say. However, this was not the case yesterday. Like a tired kernel in a bag of Orville Redenbacher's, I was just "too pooped to pop."

Life is hard. Sundays are harder.

Don't take this the wrong way. I love "the day of rest" and on some occasions, I actually get to kick back for a little while and take a nap on the couch. When that happens, you can almost (this is operative word) stand being around me. If I don't get to sleep for fifteen or twenty minutes .. look out.

Those of you who have "real jobs," probably look at me and think I have it made. I'm in an environment that doesn't make fun of me for being a christian and I get to work with believers the majority of the time. I suppose that is true. However, don't think for a minute that what I do is easy. There is no "easy" button (trust me .. I looked). If you don't think I work hard, just take a look at the blisters on my bottom (actually, that's inappropriate .. and somewhat .. creepy) from sitting at a desk all day.

Christmas is approaching at a rather rapid rate of speed and that makes me even less pleasant than usual (are you encouraged?).

In addition to fatigue, I suffer from an ailment commonly known as .. Pre Musical Syndrome.

Try not to make eye contact between now and the end of December.

It's just better that way.

Late .. Again

Sunday .. a day of rest? I don't think so.

Long Day. Here is Russ (our youth guy).

Climb Every Mountain

I am on a men's retreat with guys from FBC today (we arrived last night at Pickwick Landing State Park), so this will probably be brief (not boxer).

We have this morning free to fish, golf, hike or, as in my case, .. blog.

I've never really been very sports oriented.

On Sunday, most of "the guys" at church are talking about watching football all day on Saturday and sometimes I feel a little left out. My Saturdays usually consist of dusting and cleaning bathrooms.

There are similarities, however.

• There is the "touchdown" when Cheryl does her white glove inspection of my dusting.
• The "coin toss" occurs when she tries to flip a quarter on the bed (that I just made) to see if it bounces.
• If the coin doesn't bounce .. you see my "backfield (backside, actually) in motion."
• When Cheryl has to remind me twice about taking out the garbage, she extends her index finger and gives me an "extra point."
• When I've done well, Cheryl tells me I'm a "fair catch."
• "Punt" is what I do if she comes home and finds me asleep on the couch when I should be working.
• "First down" refers to the one who goes to bed the earliest.
• "Tight end?" .. no way I'm "tackling" that one.

Of course, everyone knows (you know .. don't you .. sweetie?) this is all in jest. I am married to the most wonderful woman in the world who has an even more wonderful sense of humor (that's my fervent prayer).

Cheryl, I'll be "rushing" home this afternoon to ask your forgiveness for, once again, dogging you on my blog.

Speaking of dogs (nice segue, huh?), I know you've been wanting a puppy. Well .. I didn't get you one. However .. while I was out by the lake this morning, a duck started following me around. I've tried to ditch the little fellow, but he won't leave my side.

I talked to the ranger and they have agreed to let me bring it home .. to you .. for a pet.

You will now have your own "personal fowl."

Sorry, readers. I'm even groaning over that one.

America the Beautiful .. Make That "Mildly Attractive"

Yesterday, I took advantage of early voting and cast my ballot at the courthouse in Trenton. I had not planned on being the "early bird" (they're always getting worms .. had 'em .. hate 'em), but my son, Drew, came home to do his civic duty (again .. still a funny word).

Drew and I don't quite see eye to eye when it comes to politics (he's wrong .. I'm right). However, it's good to see him involved in the "process" and it was fun going and canceling out each others vote.

I love America: the land of the free and the home of the Brave(s) and Cardinals.

When all the "heavy stuff" was over, we came home, had pizza (lovingly hand-tossed by Cheryl .. she handed me a twenty and tossed the car keys), and watched "Raiders of the Lost Ark" and "The Temple of Doom."

All the fun ended about midnight and we retired for the evening.

Cheryl was up at her usual time (5:30 AM) and she awakened (a high class for for "woke up") Drew at 7 o'clock, per his request. After eating a bowl of bread pudding (the breakfast of champions) and watching some liberal media (anything non-FOX), number one son headed back to Chattanooga.

It was a quick trip, but Cheryl and I will steal a moment with the "kids" whenever we can get one.

Since my computer is set up in Drew's old room, I am a little later than usual with today's update (I had to wait until he got up and out to post). I hope my fans (okay .. fan) are/is not disappointed.

My blog may lack quality, but I make up for it .. in quantity.

Welcome to RevKev's Blog and Buffet.

It's Beginning to (Almost) Look a Lot Like Christmas

Church music ministers and Walmart have, at least, one thing in common. We start getting ready for the Christmas season far before anyone really wants to think about it. There's just something strange about bows and wrapping paper being displayed right next to a SpongeBob Squarepants halloween costume (and that's just in the choir room .. Walmart is even worse).

Last night, our children's choir and adult choir devoted a good deal of time working on Christmas music.

The boys and girls are doing a mini-musical (only a few short weeks ago it appeared the adults might be going the same route) on Wednesday, December 3. Children learn quickly and are ready for anything.

Adults are .. not like children (okay we have a few who are .. including this writer). When you get older, it is harder to memorize (Fourscore and seven years ago .. ) and you are more cautious in .. everything.

This year's Christmas project (quickly becoming known as Project Run-away .. several have jumped ship), is, perhaps, one of the more challenging (who am I kidding? .. it's the most challenging) ones I have ever selected. It's very wordy and there are several places where the harmony is so barbershop you can almost feel the lather and razor on your neck (a month ago, I was considering the 'razor on your neck' part).

Last night, we "turned a corner' and I am beginning to believe we can tackle this monster. Rehearsal numbers were up and the choir did a great job with the music.

It appears Christmas will, once again, be coming to First Baptist Church.

I want a pony.

Take a Chill Pill

The last few mornings it has been a little cold here at "This Old House." I like to wait as long as possible (December? January?) before turning on the heat (I'm starting to think like a senior citizen .. it's expensive), but sometimes it's just nice to "knock the chill off" when you first get up.

Yesterday, when I tried turning on the heat .. nothing happened. You could hear the faint sounds of "I think I can. I think I can" coming from the heating unit, but .. no go. I have a call in to Marcus Heating and Air and, hopefully, it won't be anything major .. like a blown head gasket.

When I was a kid, we lived in an old house in Bemis (Land of Opportunity). I recall my dad having the very same philosophy concerning when to start using the heat (January? Never?). Because of this, we had to warm up in creative ways.

If you could get downstairs when mom was cooking, you could open the oven door afterwards and let the heat fill the room. If she happened to be washing clothes, the hot water would heat up the top of the washing machine and you could sit on top and warm up. The dryer was, obviously, a good option and I probably hugged it more than any of my relatives at Christmas.

Well, I'm older now and embracing home appliances doesn't seem to be accepted in today's modern society (it's about the only taboo).

What can a guy do to keep warm? All the political debates are over, so all that hot air is gone (I wonder if anyone taped those?).

Snuggling is nice, but I don't think Cheryl will agree (it's not part of her regular morning routine).

In one of the Star Wars movies, Luke Skywalker cut open a dead animal and climbed inside to stay warm. Since there are no dead animals around (actually there is this weird smell coming from the pantry) and I'm only slightly chilled .. I'll pass on that one.

Has anyone seen my "blankie?"

Not In Your Wildest Dreams

I'm a dreamer. Oh, I don't mean I have hopes and aspirations for the future. It's just that when I go to sleep (this is getting more difficult to do each and every night), I have dreams .. strange dreams.

I spent much of last night performing with Charlotte Hanson (from the Worship & Music Ministry of the TBC) in a production similar to "High School Musical."

Why did I dream this? I have no clue (I'm even more perplexed than usual). Perhaps it was a "bit of undigested beef, a blob of mustard, (or a) crumb of cheese." In other words, one explanation is .. gas (trust me, that could totally be it .. I'm full of the stuff).

I'm sure Freud would have had a "field day" analyzing me. "Getting into my head" would probably have sent him on another career path. Something more fulfilling like .. shoveling elephant poop at the circus.

When you have tons of strange thoughts floating around in your brain all day, they are bound to manifest themselves in some pretty weird ways. I have .. been chased by a twenty foot chitterling, become half-man/half-pig (some women think they are one and the same), and driven a car .. after changing into a dog (wait, I believe that last one was a Disney flick).

Why can't I just fly and show up for work with no clothes on (actually, once on Halloween .. never mind) like normal people.

Two Heads Are Better than One

Yesterday I found myself (many men over fifty are trying to do that) needing to be omnipresent. Actually, just two places at one time .. but it would be cool to travel without the hassle of .. traveling.

As you may (while strolling through the park one day .. in the merry, merry month of .. ) or may not remember, Cheryl and I are involved in a small group on Sunday nights for couples. It is a follow-up to the movie, "Fireproof" and is going very well.

In order to be involved in this study, I had to have the music for Sunday night worship covered for six weeks.

Last night, the college student who has been helping me (thanks, "Tall Nick") had a bad head cold and was unable to fulfill his duty (I still snicker when I say that word .. how I miss junior high).

Since our regular (not diesel or premium .. though I do consider them premium) accompanists are involved in other small groups, this meant there was no one available to play the piano/organ/guitar or even .. accordion (I've never actually used an accordion for worship .. though I wouldn't be opposed to it if you could sing "Amazing Grace" to the tune of "Lady of Spain").

The easiest solution to my dilemma was to do it myself.

I can lead from the piano .. in an emergency situation (my piano expertise is right up there with my former college voice teacher). So .. that is what I did.

The problem was trying to facilitate our small group (from 5 to 7 p.m. .. at someone's home) and being at the evening service (6:00 o'clock .. at FBC). However, with some assistance from a friend (thanks, Henry) and the absence of the Humboldt Police on Chere Carol Road and Mitchell Street .. I was able to do both.

I lamented to Cheryl that I was only one person and wouldn't it be great if I could be cloned.

She must be getting a little hard of hearing. She never responded.

A Place for Everything and Everything in Its Place

Things are almost back to normal (this is a relative term .. I have one cousin who might be considered normal .. the rest of the family is nuts .. like me) around the Hamilton house.

We have moved most of the furniture (whatever Cheryl and I could lift by ourselves) back into place. That is, the items Cheryl wants back into place. This, evidently, has ended up being the ideal time for us to do some fall cleaning, rearranging and discarding (yes .. we threw away all cards).

Our house now has three bedrooms and a path.

Tomorrow, I have been promised a couple of big "He-Men" with strong backs to come over and get those final pieces of furniture back in place.

If you recall, my friend Jim and I moved everything out. However, we "cheated" a little by sliding a few of the heavier pieces. Since the floors have been redone, this is now a "no no." Thus, the need for brute force.

I trust things will go as planned tomorrow and, by bedtime, every item will be returned to it's rightful place (a rightful place is wherever Cheryl says put it .. and btw, she can tell you where to put it with one of her cold, icy, stares).

I have a new respect for those in the furniture business.

Harry, if you need some help at Peoples Furniture Company, I have experience.

I'm not bragging .. I'm complaining.

You've Come a Long Way, Baby

Cheryl is now stylin' and profilin' in her 2005 Dodge Stratus Limited Edition that we purchased yesterday. This is a ten year jump from the 1995 Ford Taurus "Blown Engine" Edition she had been driving for the last three years.

Going from "worst to first" must be a great feeling.

Megan was the previous "newest car in the family" winner with her 2003 Ford Focus. It's a nice little car that continues to serve her well.

Now, however, Cheryl has "trumped" Meg by two years with this "new" vehicle that has tinted windows, a six CD player, chrome wheels, and spoiler (speaking of spoil her ... ).

I am as excited about the car as Cheryl. This means I get my '96 Taurus back to drive (oh joy). The whole town knows me in this car and it's very confusing to everyone when I'm in another vehicle.

My biggest concern, however, is people seeing a "new" car at my house .. parked by mine. The rumor mills are going to fly.

Talk all you want. I am seeing a hot chick with a hot car.

She just happens to be my wife.

Watch It, Buddy

During a time when everyone wants to "watch the market," I am in the "market for a watch."

I am currently wearing a Walmart special that set me back a good $12. The watch itself is still running, but the band looks like it has been through a meat grinder. Actually, I believe it has been through a meat grinder (long story).

Purchasing a new band is an option. However, a new band would cost as much as I paid for the watch. Therein, is my dilemma.

I have owned some pretty cool wristwatches in the past.

One of the more recent ones was a "Think Different" watch from Apple where the numbers were displayed backwards (12, 11, 10, etc.) and the hands ran counter-clockwise. It took a little getting used to, but it was a great conversation (time)piece.

I am now looking for something "cool" and money is no object (I'm going to add the amount to my upcoming car loan .. surely I can pay off my watch in 36 months??) because a good watch is essential .. for me.

Cheryl's seems to always run about fifteen minutes late.

A Vote for Change?

I'm starting to get ready for all the calls from my senior adults at church .. and parents.

The Baptist Bird

I often tell the story of feeling God's "calling" many years ago and trying to discern in what area of ministry He wanted me. I knew it wasn't to be a preacher because I didn't know many jokes and I didn't like fried chicken .. two huge requirements.

That has all changed.

I still don't know many jokes (a fact reinforced on a daily basis, here), but I do like the taste of chicken. In fact, about the only part of the chicken that I have not eaten .. is the "cluck."

I'm sure many of you are thinking this is strictly just "for the health of it."

Too much red meat is not good for you and since our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit (I Corinthians 6:19), it only seems appropriate to eat something more healthy.

Yes. That's exactly why I eat chicken. I'm a health nut (okay .. maybe just a nut).

Lee's Chicken in Milan, has the best chicken around. I really like it.

Cheryl, really loves it. I mean to the point that I should be jealous. If she looked at me like she looks at one of their boneless chicken breasts, I would know that nothing could ever come between us.

Last night, we went to Lee's.

Today, the world is so much brighter.