Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Good Morning, Mr. Phelps

United States swimmer, Michael Phelps has won his third gold medal in the Summer Olympic Games in Beijing and is well on his way to a world record. At age 23, he has already won nine in the course of his career.

He makes me sick.

I know I should be proud of his accomplishments. He is representing the United States. However, every time I see him, I can only think about what could have been.

My sister and I took swimming lessons when we were kids and there were a couple of instances that probably crushed my dream as an olympic hopeful (that and the fact that I don't swim all that well).

My mother has always been very protective of her children. Just try messing with me and this little woman can turn into the Uma Thurman character from "Kill Bill" (and "Kill Bill" Volume Two).

It started thundering one day during swimming lessons. Mind you, it was miles, and miles off in the distance. Mom ran over to the pool and pulled us out before you could blink an eye. No questions asked. No matter that the instructor was still in the middle of a lesson.

That was embarrassing. Not nearly as embarrassing, however, as the time I jumped off the diving board and had a bit of a struggle swimming over to the side. Mom jumps out of the car, into the pool (fully clothed .. shoes and all) and pulls me to safety (Phelps is fast, but not as fast as "Poolside Peggy").

That ended my pursuit for olympic fame and it's a shame. I have a couple of things in my favor: 1) Completely shaving my body doesn't take that long (I have four hairs on my chest - three on one side and one on the other .. not good for my OCD symmetry issues) and 2) My floaties (mom makes me wear 'em) still fit.

I could have been a contender.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

God gave each of us gifts and did not give some of us certain gifts for His own reasons. We should be greatful for what we have and greatful for what we don't have...

Anonymous said...

...and I would have cheered and jeered the whole time! What a loss for the U.S. of A.! LOL